Mortified


I have a story for you and it isn’t a good one.?? It is worthy of being canonized though because I may need this later in life when I have to drag up all the things my darling “owes” me for ;).

Heidi had a terrible week.?? Seth was being very very four and mama was coming loose at the seams.?? I won’t tell her story, I’ll let her do that.?? You can read it here.

I was trying to help her come up with ideas for behavior correcting yesterday morning and as I stood in the shower I was making a mental list of all the things that my boys had done to create mischief.?? My list was extremely short.?? Sure, Ty tries to eat everything and pushes every button known to man, but I would not label him destructive.?? (Sweetie is getting sick and tired of having to reprogram her TV back to English though.?? This is a tricky thing to do once the language is switched because you have to read a foreign language to follow the reverse directions).

I am sure I have several stories but nothing of huge significance.?? Tanner dumped a Toby Mac CD in the toilet at about two and drew on his face with a pen once.?? Nothing significant has ever been abused, broken, cut, written on or otherwise destroyed – well okay – there is the whole Sweetie eye thing but that really was an accident ๐Ÿ™‚ .???? I knew that as these thoughts were going through my mind it would be a really great time to knock on wood.?? I didn’t – first mistake. ๐Ÿ˜‰

My brothers had such a lengthy list of misdemeanors.?? So many things I can think of off the top of my head.?? Glue on the TV, mustard on the pillowcases, bottle of baby powder all over the room, broken everything, tore down the big playhouse with a bat, a very angry chicken covered in spaghetti, gum in the hair, honey UNDER THE bunk beds (that was a BAD day).?? Then there are my nieces and nephews who aren’t half bad at mischief either.?? Noah managed to flood the house before he was 2.?? He has written on many things with markers including the bathroom walls, sink, and couch not to mention himself.?? Zane regularly has gum in his hair.?? Kids being kids.?? How did I get so lucky and miss these antics though??? Happy little sigh relishing in all the good things of my sweet little family.

Last night we went to dinner at Matt and Amanda’s.?? Amanda and I were chatting chatting chatting and Ty was busy pushing tv buttons like usual.?? I put him in time out for that a couple of times.?? At one point Tanner says’s “Mommy Ty has got a yucky diaper you need to change him.”??

I stalled because Ty was in time out and I wanted him there a bit longer.?? Mistake number 2.

A couple minutes later Tanner was calling again.?? He made the diaper thing sound like an emergency.?? Not surprising.?? Kids think most things are an emergency, especially when I am on the phone, and believe me – I RARELY AGREE.

I saunter in to change the child’s diaper only to discover that he had been reaching into his diaper exploring the mess during his monotonous time out.?? What must he have been thinking at that moment???

“Interesting color??? Interesting texture??? I can’t leave – I am stuck in timeout with nothing to do. Ho hummmmm…what to do?”

Well my creative little genius decides that finger painting would be a good craft to occupy his busy mind during the long tedious minutes of timeout.??

OF ALL TIMES!!!! IN SOMEONE ELSE’S HOME!!!!!!?? I was shocked, horrified, mortified and several other adjectives.?? I first had to wash down Matt and Amanda’s wall with Lysol wipes all the while wearing a glazed over look on my face.?? While I was washing down the wall I called for Jim declaring EMERGENCY.?? When “I” say it’s an emergency it IS an emergency and Jim DID believe me!?? I asked Jim to put Ty in the tub and told him NOT TO HEAT THE WATER UP (just for you Grace Gals).?? Unfortunately, not only does Ty have a high pain tolerance, but he also has very low sensitivity to temperature.?? When I came in to wash him down he was happily splashing in a frigid bath and eating Amanda’s bar soap.?? Nice.?? Jim says’s “Just get him out – he is obviously having too much fun”.??

I am cringing imagining Amanda sharing this story with her mom because the house they are currently living in is actually their parents rental while they are trying to sell their house.

Amanda wrote me an email this morning letting me know they had such a fun time with us last night.?? She is either a great liar or a true friend ๐Ÿ™‚ .??

Oh aren’t you just horrified??? I called Heidi and shared this story this morning.?? She no longer feels quite so alone and she agreed that “deeds” like this done in another person’s HOME truly take the cake.?? This is a contestant I was not aiming to win.??

Yours truly,

The Mama who is praying her luck did not just change for the worst.


14 responses to “Mortified”

  1. for those who find their way to my blog – you must read several bad days so go back a few posts… if you see 2 about missing brain cells or something of the sort, you are in the right place. today will have an added good one JUST from this morning. ๐Ÿ™‚ fresh kill… very very fresh…

    (oh – and you mean contest? ๐Ÿ™‚ does one incident THAT horrible make up for a multitude of others? i think it might.) ;D

  2. you know what’s worse…. as I was reading this I was thinking… Yeah I have to say we haven’t had nothing TOOOO BAD or DAMAGING…. Oh Lord have mercy ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. OH NO MISSY! OH NO!!! Be sure to let us know when it happens… and go read my blog – I’m posting the good news now. Hee hee… ๐Ÿ™‚
    hj

  4. When you wrote on Heidi’s post that your brothers put ketchup on a chicken, I thought it was a frozen chicken or a chicken in the oven or a chicken in the refrigerator, etc. etc. Not once did it cross my mind that the chicken would be alive enough to be angry LOL!!! I would give my left arm to go back in time and be a fly on the wall in your house while you were all growing up:)

  5. i was RIGHT WITH jana!!! i didn’t get the angry thing and skipped past it in the rush of conversation… but the poor REAL chicken!

    did you know that doni’s dad raised birds alongside their house for a while? that an owl would sit on their swing and once swooped down on a brother? (was it dusty?) that there was almost always a broken window in the house? that doni and i shared her bedroom one summer between college years when i was ‘home’ – and we can’t believe how we managed the closet that was tiny to begin with and we both had a LOT of clothes! the wardrobe box in the garage was our only saving grace. ๐Ÿ™‚ so many bits and pieces of memories… that it was common for doni to pass her own street when we were riding together because we were so engrossed in conversation. that we sobbed all the way home from the movie ‘dad.’ that we both wore jeans & boots. that i once threatened to spank doni’s ‘little’ brothers when we were left in charge and her parents were gone? now THAT is funny!!!! (not that i would have… but i think it did actually scare them! ha!)

  6. That made me laugh so hard and reminded me of the time that my son did that same thing but he was up in the tube at Chuck E Cheese. Ugh…mortified didn’t describe it and obviously we were too embarrassed to show our face there again ever.

  7. Ahhh, yeah, I thought Will and the poop all over his bed and himself was bad, but yes, all that happening in someone else’s home, no good at all! Sorry Doni!

    On the missing ones turn…on Saturday I was driving back from the Minneapolis and while everyone was sleeping in the car and I was visiting with my sister on the phone and I completely missed my turn and even missed the next one too. I had to go to a comletely different exit to get back home. I couldn’t beleive it, I wasted an extra 1/2 hour on the road. The best part is that neither Minsan or the kids had any idea what I had done, LOL, AND, I didn’t tell them LOL! I would have never heard the end of it!!

  8. Oh, THE HORROR!!!! I’m knocking on wood right now and am definitely NOT going to make a list of the insignificant mischievous behavior of my boys thus far. Nope, not gonna do it!

    Seriously though, Doni, the real horror of that predicament would have been me having to ask Amanda to clean up the “mess” because of my own inability to refrain from vomiting!! Seriously!!!

    Off to check out Heidi’s blog! ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Oh I am really worried. I keep hearing about these toddler poo stories. I am not looking forward to that day! ;P

    Going to check out Heidi’s blog now too. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Sonia

  10. WOW!!
    WHY AM I PICTURING THIS MOMENT PLAYED OUT WITH YOU AND JIM, AMANDA AND MATT, AND TANNER AND TY.
    WOW!! I KNOW THIS WAS A MESS FOR YOU BUT YOU HAVE GOT ME SMILING.
    SOUNDS LIKE A JOURNAL ENTRY TO ME.

    OH TY JORDON……..BE NICE TO YOUR MAMA.

  11. Just for the record…the big playhouse was torn down with our bare hands and feet as David and I perfected our “Chuck Norris” karate school. (Bats?!? We don’t need no stinking bats!!!)
    -J

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