You may love me but in truth…not like me.?? You may like me but in truth….not love me.?? Being greedy, I want both.?? I want??to be loved and liked.?? I have been thinking about the differences between these two this week reflecting on a conversation I had with Ty.?? He is sunshine to my soul.?? He speaks my love language.?? If you have never read Gary Chapman’s Love Language book, you really must.?? It is truly a MUST read.?? Understanding the love language of those you live with is so important.?? Jim’s primary love language is physical touch.?? Mine is affirmation.???? The boys are tougher to decipher but I think at this stage of life, Ty’s primary language is physical touch and Tanner’s is quality time.?? Jim and Tanner both have trouble speaking the love language of affirmation – they are not by nature expressors.?? Ty excels at it.?? Therefore, on any given day in our household, it is usually Ty that knows what to say to soothe mama’s soul.??
I have had a hard week.?? Two different heart breaking things happened this week and I have needed a mental health break for the last two days.?? The boys and I will be decorating gingerbread cookies this afternoon – you know how comfort food cheers me up.?? (And a big thanks to our dear friends Matt and Amanda who knew to show up last night with Olive Garden and Dark Chocolate Peppermint Ice Cream on the night agenda – I needed that).
Where am I going with this??? 🙂
The other night I was sitting on the couch watching television with Jim.?? Ty cuddled up in my lap and was playing his PSP.?? As I mentioned in an earlier post,??I tend to stare at my kids.?? This drives Tanner nuts and he often sits on the opposite side of the couch from me to enforce his six year old boundaries.?? He knows if he is sitting within arms distance that I won’t be able to resist touching him, snuggling him, kissing him….etc.?? Ty, however, enjoys this attention.
This particular evening I just kept watching Ty.?? Every few minutes I would squeeze him,??kiss his head, caress his cheek, snuggle my face to his.?? Thankfully he tolerates this because I??simply can’t resist expressing my flood of love for my boys.?? After a bit, Ty looks up into my eyes and very seriously says “I like you too“.
I nearly cried.?? It was so precious.?? It was as if I had spoken volumes of love to him and he was responding to it but in fact, I had not said a word.?? Ty read my eyes though.?? He knew exactly what was on my heart.?? What I was expressing to him through my love looks and cuddles and kisses and he responded to it.
Later I was teasing my adorable husband and told him that he and Tanner could stand to learn a lesson or two from Ty.?? Jim said, “Doni you got to know that Ty just knows how to work you” :).?? I then said, “I don’t care!?? I like it!?? If he is working me, I love it but even if that is the case, he STILL can READ me.?? He knew exactly what I was non verbally saying to him and he responded to it like it was natural as breathing!”??
It also did not escape my attention that he said “I LIKE” you.?? That in and of itself was a treasure.?? We say “I love you” all the time but in this instance, Ty was talking about something else.?? He was not referring to the commitment of love we have for one another parent to child, he was simply saying “Ya mom – I know you like me as a person and I like you too”.?? How great is that????? Ty – you put mama’s heart in motion and I am so glad you are M I N E.
Baby Baby
By Amy Grant??
Baby, baby
I’m taken with the notion
To love you with the sweetest of devotion.
Baby, baby
My tender love will flow from
The bluest sky to the deepest ocean.
Stop for a minute
Baby, I’m so glad you’re mine, yeah
You re mine.
Baby, baby
The stars are shining for you
And just like me I’m sure that they adore you.
Baby, baby
Go walking through the forest
The birds above are singing you a chorus.
Stop for a minute
Baby, they’re so glad you’re mine, oh yeah
And ever since the day you put my heart in motion
Baby I realize that there’s just no getting over you.
Baby, baby
In any kind of weather
I’m here for you always and forever.
Baby, baby
No muscle man could sever
My love for you is true and it will never
Stop for a minute
Baby, I’m so glad you’re mine
And ever since the day you put my heart in motion
Baby I realize that there’s just no getting over you.
And ever since the day you put my heart in motion
Baby I realize that there’s just no getting over you.
Over you.
Baby, baby
Always and forever
Baby I’m so glad that
Here for you baby
So glad you’re mine
Baby I’m so glad that
When I think about you it makes me smile
Baby, baby be mine
Baby I’m so glad that
Don’t stop giving love
Dint stop, no
Baby I’m so glad that you’re mine
Baby I’m so glad
Baby I’m so glad that
When I think about you it makes me smile.
??
7 responses to “He Likes Me”
I SOOO get this… right down to the preciousness of a well-loved song. SO with you sister.
And to my dear brother Jim: 🙂 If Ty IS just workin’ Doni, but he gets the response HE WANTS in return – JUST IMAGINE WHAT DONI WOULD DO FOR YOU IF YOU ‘WORKED HER’ LIKE TY! (Yes, this is a “hint hint” for you… I can pretty much guarantee you won’t be disappointed because I know how it ‘works’ in my house… not much hubby can’t get with that kind of love-language action working for us both!) I say take advantage of it… anything you’ve been wanting lately? 😉
hmmm, now that is something to think about! I do get what your saying, but I want the book. Tanner and Ty are both great little boys and I love/like them both. I agree Ty does have a certain way of reading someone, he has helped me with those little hugs of his many times while Landen has been sick. They are both such a awesome blessing.
As for Jim…. has he read the book?? J/K!!
😉
Interesting what was on Oprah today considering you just posted this! I THOUGHT OF YOU WHEN I HEARD “Baby Baby” as intro music. 🙂
Susie – Jim and I went to a marriage class on this in our first year of marriage:). Seriously, get the book.
Heidi – I loved that Oprah special today. Amy will always have part of my heart. While watching it I told Jim that I would love Amy forever. He laughed at me. I told him that from the time I was younger than Tanner I had idolized her. I wanted to be her. I wore her shirts, bought her sunglasses, owned every album, was in her fan club, read her book…and dressed like her for several Halloweens and that doesn’t count the music videos I posed for on home video emulating her (ask Susie – she got to see my “Angels Watching Over Me” video recently). I saw her on Oprah today and even still, she is like “coming home” to me. I feel a sense of sharing in her sorrow and her journey towards healing and grace. She, more than any other artist, inspired my love of music. When I think of the songs of my childhood, I hear Amy Amy Amy. I am going to find her and hug her in heaven. To be honest, in recent years, because of her life sorrows, I couldn’t bond to her later albums because her pain didn’t speak to me – our life stories were not the same. But her hymn albums bring me back….
Even as an adult, can you believe I sat watching Oprah today thinking “would my hair look cute cut like Amy’s?”. I just can’t help myself. 🙂
i ditto SOOO MUCH of what you said. i SO felt at home watching her… i still get teary-eyed when i see her and couldn’t even tell you why.
and for me, her story in later years DID speak to me. it reminded me some of my own family – healing after a broken marriage in particular. as the daughter of divorce, seeing love stories come back to save the day moves me in a deep way. to me, seeing that kind of heartbreak find healing is such a story of grace. that’s probably why some of her later works really did speak to me.
i also saw some of myself even in some of the years of mistakes. if she could still be beautiful, so could i. 🙂
i watched wanting to tell her that she spoke hope to so many young girls. i was one of them. i will go with you to talk to her in heaven. we’ll smother her with hugs together. 🙂
DIDN’T YOU LOVE WHAT VINCE SAID TO HER? “I may not understand you, but I welcome you. I welcome you, and what you bring to the table is enough.” OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!
jason said all the audience was going “aaaaawe….” and i said, “NO! EVERY WOMAN IN THE AUDIENCE HAS TEARY EYES THINKGING ‘I WANT TO BE LOVED LIKE THAT!’” 🙂
ps – i’m so glad amy has that kind of love and restoration in her life.
funny sidenote – just got my guitar in the mail this week – returned to me from loaning it out some 10 years ago. i have felt stirred to learn it again. i’ll never be great at it and i’m ok with that – but to learn enough to strum a simple song or back songs i write. seeing amy with her guitar further inspired me. 🙂
I have snugglers too! And I LOVE IT! Noah is growing out of kisses and hugs, but sometimes he’ll tolerate my mommy snuggles. Actually I make him sit in the same cushiony chair with me when we do our reading!
And BTW – When I think of Amy Grant, I think of you! I can still see you in that Amy Grant t-shirt and trying to sing along with you and her in your big yellow truck! The tapes were hardly audible they were so worn out form use!