![\"\"](\"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/02\/makeup_0014.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
….I can wear makeup if I want to.<\/p>\n
SHEEESSSSHHHH!!!!!<\/p>\n
Tori turned TWO last Friday (Feb 5th) and if her birthday weekend is indication of what the terrible twos will be like, then someone needs to start building me a padded room.<\/p>\n
Let me just give you a Friday and Saturday run down…<\/p>\n
On Friday – her actual birthday – I had bought an outfit for her to take up North on Saturday for some “two” pictures.???? The shoot for her was canceled due to the fact that she had pulled my purse off the kitchen counter, emptied it, found my Cover Girl Color Stay and painted her face with it (see above).???? Cover Girl should get an award for the permanency of their dry on color.?? WE COULD NOT GET IT OFF.?? We tried Vaseline, Wesson cooking oil, Arbonne Baby Oil, soap….nada.?? Jim and I submitted to laughter when oil soaked baby wipes were coming off dove white clean with NO lipstick color removed.?? GRRRRRRRRR.<\/p>\n
Heidi offered up the only solution that helped some.?? She suggested using the lip color to get the lip color off.?? That actually worked better than anything else.?? Same theory as using hair dye to remove hair dye from skin.?? Weird huh??? Can’t figure the chemistry of that.?? Even today, she still has residual makeup on her cheek and it is now day four and several baths later.<\/p>\n
Saturday was no better.<\/p>\n
It was a project day for me so I was quite preoccupied.?? She used this to her advantage.<\/p>\n
The trouble started at bath time.?? When her bath finished, I drained the tub but didn’t get her out immediately because I was still getting ready in the bathroom.?? At one point, I walked out of the bathroom into my adjacent bedroom for a moment (no worries as there was no water in the bath and I was still quite close to her).?? I heard a slip in the tub and was afraid she may have hurt herself so I ran into the bathroom.?? As I closed in on the tub, my jog came to an abrupt halt when something large, warm, and squishy, flattened under my foot and squeezed between my toes.<\/p>\n
The smell and site assaulted me at once.?? She had gone number two in the dry tub, and decided that the largest deposit did not belong in the tub with her, so she threw it out of the tub and on to my nice rug (remember the rug conversation from a few months back when she nearly destroyed it with Mac makeup?).?? It was just my luck that I would land squarely on that ONE SPOT in the bathroom.<\/p>\n
To make matters worse, she had played with it a bit first and I couldn’t distinguish between the potty and the makeup from the day before.?? Needless to say, we both got a second shower with me ranting the whole time.???? Quite possibly the most disgusting kid incident EVER.?? Seriously – that should have been her trouble quota for like the whole week at least.?? Not so.<\/p>\n
*?? She emptied the entire goodwill bag of clothes that I had organized in her room the day before.?? They were mixed in with laundry so I had to start the separation project all over.<\/p>\n
*?? I was cleaning out the kids closet and had ALL their clothes piled up on the bed on hangers.?? I left the room and returned to find ALL of them in heaps on the floor with many hangers removed.?? I was one very angry mama by this time.?? VERY.?? ANGRY.<\/p>\n
*?? Jim wanted scrambled egg sandwiches for dinner so I started beating eggs in a bowl but left the kitchen a moment to talk to my honey in the front room.?? I returned to find her standing in egg yolks.?? She had pulled the eggs out of the carton on the counter and was dropping them on the floor to watch the mini explosions.?? I am sure that was quite fascinating for her.<\/p>\n
*?? Went to grocery store WITHOUT HER.?? When I came home, I heard her singing from her bedroom.?? I went to check on her (Daddy was engaged in an Xbox game).?? A little person in my house had decided to put her in her crib.?? She went number two (AGAIN) and removed her diaper.?? Duct tape and all.?? Again I had to bathe baby and do laundry.?? I did hide a smile though over the fact that it had happened on Daddy time so that removed his right to say word one about me “not watching” her earlier in the day.?? Nice to have that little card to play.?? \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n
*?? At 10:00 PM, I went to get her ready for bed and found her in my bathroom with the bottom drawer opened and all my lotions and perfumes on the ground.?? (And yes this IS a drawer with a child lock on it).?? Thankfully I caught her before the bottles were opened.?? Thank the Lord for small favors.<\/p>\n
And – NO – I cannot keep a two year old within two feet from me all day.?? I can’t do it.?? But yes…the consequences of this are going to be disastrous.?????? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
….I can wear makeup if I want to. SHEEESSSSHHHH!!!!! Tori turned TWO last Friday (Feb 5th) and if her birthday weekend is indication of what the terrible twos will be like, then someone needs to start building me a padded room. Let me just give you a Friday and Saturday run down… On Friday – […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1114","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mamas-diaries"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1114","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1114"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1114\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1114"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1114"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1114"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}