{"id":3644,"date":"2011-05-05T10:00:03","date_gmt":"2011-05-05T17:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/x.jimanddoni.com\/?p=3644"},"modified":"2011-05-05T22:12:50","modified_gmt":"2011-05-06T05:12:50","slug":"tys-world-living-on-the-spectrum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/?p=3644","title":{"rendered":"Ty’s World – Living on the Spectrum"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ty:? Mommy on Easter I don?t want to do the three legged race.<\/em><\/p>\n

Doni:? I know Ty.<\/em><\/p>\n

Ty:? And I need help this year getting the Easter eggs.<\/em><\/p>\n

Doni:? Okay buddy.<\/em><\/p>\n

We had this conversation leading up to Easter several times.? We go to Brooke?s parents with all of our friends and family every Easter.? Because they live on several desert acres, the terrain is difficult for Ty so he typically fails to fill his basket.? In preparation for this, when it was egg hunt time, I went looking for my son.? I was ready to help him and determined he would not be short changed this year.<\/p>\n

When I saw him in the distance, a lump formed in my throat.? On a small hill, about 20 yards away, I saw that someone else had beat me to it.?? It was a long time family friend who is mentally disabled.? She had him by the hand and the two of them were working together to get the job done.? It was a beautiful sight but I still couldn?t stop my tears.? So many thoughts going through my head about Ty?s future.<\/p>\n

It seems I go through a time of grief at each developmental stage.? I find myself trying to figure things out and so often there are pieces missing that keep me from seeing the bigger picture.? I keep most of this inside because there are few who can honestly relate to what we are going through (few within our circle) and it becomes too difficult to put words to all my competing emotions.? I would imagine that I would not have to explain much of this to another parent of a child with special needs.? I think it is just part of the journey.<\/p>\n

While standing in the distance trying to sort through my emotions, I realized I was in need of the one person who was wading these waters of uncertainty with me.? I went and found Jim and he quickly realized that I needed a minute of talk time.<\/p>\n

Jim took me aside and I explained.? When I was finished he said ?Doni ? what you saw ? that was a beautiful thing<\/em>.?? I agreed.? Some things still hurt though.? I smiled to myself because Jim?s comment was very Jim.? He comforts in a very left brain sort of way.<\/p>\n

While we were standing there, my brother Daniel approached.? There were over 100 people at this Easter gathering but I would guess that I have known over 85% of them for more than 20 years so it was still a very intimate group.? No surprise that word spread throughout the camp that ?Doni was upset? in record time.<\/p>\n

Daniel?s first words were ?What is wrong?? Did I do it??.?? I smiled again.? How very like my brother to word his question that way.<\/p>\n

During the three legged race, my brother David came and put his arm around me.? ?Who did it?? I?ll kill em??.<\/p>\n

(I should also take a moment to note that Ty did in fact participate in the 3 legged race because Brooke?s niece Arianna made it her goal to convince him.? She knew that he was going to have trouble but she was determined to give him a good go at it.? They won.? My heart swelled with affection for Arianna on Easter).<\/em><\/p>\n

When I was about to leave, my brother Darin says ?Doni hold up!? Hey.? A whole lot of people have come up to me and said that you were really upset about something and that I should come find you and see what?s wrong.?? So??(long pause)?.what is the matter????? My smiles have turned into laughter by this time.<\/p>\n

Oh how I love all the men in my life.? Each one of them came to say ?I love you? in their own way ? in their own language.? I understood what they were saying to me because I understand them.? I know who they are and how they process and when they approach me in their own unique ways, I see them.<\/p>\n

I see my children too.? I put a lot of time into just knowing them.? When it comes to my darling boy Ty, I realize more and more how important it is to me that I serve as a bridge for him.? He needs someone to stand in the gap and help him understand how to relate and live in this world.? He also needs someone to teach his community what Ty?s world looks like from his perspective so that they can come alongside me and help me embrace Ty and support him as he ventures out into a world that makes a different kind of sense to him than to others.<\/p>\n

And so I begin?<\/em><\/p>\n

I don?t know what I think until I read what I wrote.? That is the best kind of therapy for me.? I have written several postings unique to Ty in the hope that I can improve my own understanding and therefore parenting methods and also educate all in our circle.? I will begin posting them daily.? If you are in anyway connected to Ty?s world, would you please invest time in following my ?Ty?s World? postings?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thank you for loving our boy.? – Doni<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ty:? Mommy on Easter I don?t want to do the three legged race. Doni:? I know Ty. Ty:? And I need help this year getting the Easter eggs. Doni:? Okay buddy. We had this conversation leading up to Easter several times.? We go to Brooke?s parents with all of our friends and family every Easter.? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[64],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3644","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tys-world"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3644","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3644"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3644\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3694,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3644\/revisions\/3694"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3644"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3644"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3644"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}