![\"\"](\"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/Jun\/TheShackCover.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I almost titled this post “Unstumbled and touching the Son at Calvary” but that seemed too long.?? You’ll understand why after you read this post.??<\/p>\n
I have a tradition of picking up two to three books before going on a trip.?? I am a voracious reader and vacationing without new books is completely foreign to me.?? I didn’t have much time to shop for my “top picks” before going camping so I perused the book section at Sam’s Club as a last ditch effort before going out of town.?? The cover of this book caught my eye.????Loving photography, the balance of light and dark in the picture drew me in.?? I turned to the back cover and noticed that none other than Michael W. Smith and Eugene Peterson (author of the Message Bible which I love) were endorsing it.?? When I read the description I was instantly captivated.?? Here is the back cover description:<\/p>\n
Mackenzie Allen Phillips’ youngest daughter, Missy, has been abducted during a family vacation and evidence that she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness.?? Four years later in the midst of his Great Sadness, Mack receives a suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack for the weekend.<\/em><\/p>\n
Against his better judgement,??he arrives at the shack on a wintry afternoon and walks back into his darkest nightmare.?? What he finds there will change Mack’s world forever.?? <\/em><\/p>\n
In a world where religion seems to grow increasingly irrelevant, The Shack wrestles with the timeless question, “Where is God in a world filled with unspeakable pain?”?? The answers Mack gets will astound you and perhaps transform you as much as it did him.?? You’ll want everyone you know to read this book.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I write this post today as one of the “transformed”.<\/p>\n
This is a book that you will either love or hate…or perhaps love and hate.?? I think that is where I would side…definitely a love\/hate relationship.?? I was deeply and profoundly moved by this book though and the effects of it have been far reaching for me.?? As I read this book on our camping trip I was so grateful for the children quiet at play and Jim taking a long nap because I sobbed my heart out.?? Not at the story itself (which is a FABULOUS and creative fictional story all by itself) but at the deeply moving conversations between God and Mack that I felt within the depths of me.?? I had to take many long pauses to hash some things out with God.?? If nothing else, what an incredible catalyst for intimacy between my Jesus and me.<\/p>\n
Without “spoiling this” (I hope), I want to tell you a bit more about the book so you will better understand the premise of this post.?? In this book, God chooses to reveal himself to Mack in the form of the trinity.?? Each member of the trinity, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit take on different human forms in order to minister best to Mack in the depths and deep pit of his suffering.?? This was a risky move for the author because the book became more than fiction – it presented theology in the form of fiction.?? The question was, would it be accepted??? By some yes, others are crying heretical.?? I am not one of those who found it heresy.?? To quote my dad: “I didn’t find one thing that gave me the slightest amount of heart burn”?? LOL.?? Instead, I find myself??crying “God move me” because I only have the smallest fraction of understanding of your all encompassing magnificent grace.<\/p>\n
I will let you know up front that if you read reviews on this (and I wouldn’t recommend that until after you have read it to be fair), you will find that some people are claiming that Paul Young is a heretic, anti-orthodoxy and a universalist.?? None of these things are true.?? Quite far from the truth actually.?? I have spent several hours pouring over Paul’s blog and the ministries he is associated with and I am absolutely confident that this man CLEARLY understands salvation through FAITH ALONE in Jesus.?? Why then, is this book offending people??? Because deeply rooted in the hearts of many of the “religious” is a staunch legalism that dictates much of what we do and say and believe.?? For those that are held in bondage by this legalism, this book can be painful because we are afraid of all it does not say (example: not clearly outlining a salvation plan) and all that it does (BIG grace that stretches us huge).<\/p>\n
I can relate very well to those naysayers.?? As most of my regular readers know, my father has been a minister for almost 35 years.?? We came to Phoenix when I was 4 years old and my father took the position as pastor for a small Conservative Baptist Church.?? My father comes from a long line of fantastically legalistic people.?? He loved them dearly and they him.?? Thankfully, my great-grandfather and grandfather both were changed dramatically by the mercy of God over the years and in their older age, both of them embraced grace with everything in them…but getting there was a long road.?? My father, by nature, resisted legalism.?? It made him a bit of a maverick and he has been “on the outs” with several “religious” organizations because of this.?? He even makes ME nervous.?? My goodness you should have seen how the congregation reacted about 10 years ago when he started preaching that “sin is NOT the issue”.?? Wow!?? It didn’t go over well with many.?? It freed me.?? I didn’t get it though.?? Still struggle with it.?? But I am coming around.?? Slowly but surely I am starting to see more and more truth…more of who HE really is…how much HE loves me…and it shakes me to the core of my being.??<\/p>\n
Dad understands grace far better than I.?? As I said, a struggle with legalism has never been the challenge for him that it is for me because he is not a performer but even he went through a major metamorphoses about 15 years ago.?? That is what started all the change in our church though few knew that at the time.?? This post is going to branch out in a couple of directions but we’ll end up back on my book review – I promise.<\/p>\n
In 1992 I was sexually abused by a boyfriend.?? I have shared my story in great detail with my Grace Gals but I don’t know that I have ever mentioned it here.?? It serves a purpose today though so I “pen” it.?? I was beyond desperate during this time.?? I was 19 years old and begging God to kill me because I didn’t have the nerve to commit suicide.?? I had lived those 19 years by a very strict code of all the things I wouldn’t and never did.?? To have this situation happen was beyond what I could endure AND I WAS TO BLAME for portions of the abuse.?? I made some poor choices that perpetuated some of my consequences though not all.?? When my parents finally find out what had happened, my father wanted to know why I didn’t tell him.?? My answer broke his heart and he didn’t know how to live with my answer.<\/p>\n
“Because I was afraid that if the people in your congregation found out, they would blame you.?? They would say that you had not parented me well.”<\/em>?? I owned the entire deal at that time of my life and the shame was overwhelming.?? There was no way I would risk drawing my parents into it and forcing them into owning my “great” shame.?? I have??had several??”great sadnesses”. This was one of them.<\/p>\n
While I couldn’t understand it at that time, this was the worst thing to have said to my father because here is what he heard in his own heart and mind “Because I have chosen to follow God’s leading and become a Pastor, I sacrificed my child<\/em>.”??<\/p>\n
The truth of the matter is that (a) our congregation would have been much more gracious than I was capable of giving them credit for – they had their own stories and hurts too and (b) God did??NOT allow me to be a sideline sacrifice for my Dad’s ministry.?? That was a lie straight from the pit.?? But when we are??in deep??grief there are a lot of lies we will believed.?? The ones we tell ourselves.?? These were??just two.<\/p>\n
This part of the story isn’t mine to tell…it’s Dad’s but I will go a bit further anyhow.<\/p>\n
For the next couple of years my??raging started to subside but my father’s grew FIERCE.????I don’t know if he himself knows how he survived his own rage and grief.?? Ultimately it nearly broke him – can you imagine how that would feel as a minister??? Too hold something so great in your spirit and have to press on?????He began to purchase every book on grace he could think of.?? He knew he had to be freed from his anger but had no idea how to remove his grip from the neck of my pain.?? I will never forget the day he sat me down in his room and asked my??permission to forgive my??abuser.????He stated up front that he knew that what he had just stated was poor theology but as a daddy, he couldn’t get past the??emotion of??forgiving someone if I couldn’t.????God had already prepared my heart for this.?? I needed my daddy to forgive so we could both move on.?? God’s timing was perfect.?? We cried together and moved forward in grace.????This may seem a simple straightforward tale but it??isn’t.?? It has changed so much about us, our lives, our ministry.?? Even the name of our church.????For those in our inner circle, now you know the heart behind “Grace Family Fellowship”.?? It was during this time that Dad felt the??Spirit??lead??Him to step forward??and embrace and proclaim Grace.???? I wish this would have been well received…it wasn’t.?? You have no idea how difficult it is to change the name of??a Conservative Baptist Church (unless you are a??Conservative Baptist and then you might have a clue LOL).?? I do not say this with a heart of disrespect towards my former denomination.????While I am not in agreeance with all things “Baptist”,??I hold dearly to their basic statement of faith.?? For me, it is an issue of application versus belief??that results in me feeling like I am better suited to not claiming a “denomination”.?? Don’t want the title??- just want Jesus.???? But I don’t want to derail this conversation??down this side line – not important right now.?? When you read The Shack though, you will find a lot of relevance in the story I have shared with you (and you ARE going to read it right?).<\/strong>?? My Dad and I both have been where Mack is.?? So have you.?? Our stories different – our hearts and our grief and suffering….quite similar.<\/p>\n
So we are now over 15 years past my “great sadness” and I still struggle with grace.?? Why is that??? I think the answer is because I am such a performer.?? I am a “do right be right” kind of girl.?? I have a strong belief in “you will sow what you reap”.?? I also am a controller.?? That means that often I am motivated to “do right” so that I can control my outcomes.?? True, I don’t often suffer the consequences of “big” sin because I try hard not to do those things but I do suffer the consequences of self righteousness and of living in the flesh instead of living in the Spirit.?? What in the heck does that mean anyhow??? I have been trying my darnedest to get to the bottom of that for quite some time.?? I feel like I am standing on the precipice of knowledge on this point and it is just out of my grasp.????I feel myself moving closer to the truth though.?? The Shack helped with that.?? It’s a painful journey but one I am glad I am taking.??<\/p>\n
I read a quiz recently on how to detect if you are a legalist.?? I failed miserably and sent it to dad with a big smiley face.?? He had no doubt I would fail miserably.?? He knows my weakness.?? Here it is:<\/p>\n
Could you be a legalist????Take the quiz!<\/span><\/p>\n
Answer yes or no to the following questions:<\/em> <\/span><\/p>\n
1) God’s love for me depends on what I do. HEAD KNOWLEDGE NO – APPLICATION OFTEN YES.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
2) Meeting the expectations of others, especially those in my congregation or in positions of authority, are paramount.?? SAME ANSWER AS ABOVE.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
3) Moral and ethical questions are usually black and white and only made into fuzzy shades of gray by hand-wringing, bleeding-heart types.?? DEFINITELY YES THOUGH I AM WORKING ON THAT.?? I WANT THINGS TO BE BLACK AND WHITE ALL THE TIME.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
4) I try hard to obey God and it irritates me that others think they can get away with avoiding the same level of dedication.?? YES.?? \ud83d\ude42<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
5) I fall short because I don’t have enough faith, or because I haven’t prayed enough, or because I just need to be a better person.?? YES:)<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
6) God is predisposed to be angry with me because I am a sinner. My main goal in life is to try to gain God’s favor by doing things that will impress him.?? AGAIN…APPLICATION OFTEN YES THOUGH I KNOW BETTER.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
7) My sense of spiritual well-being is linked to a Christian leader or membership in my church rather than a personal relationship with God.?? NO.?? WHEWW ONE I COULD SAY NO ON.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
8) I tell my children not to do something in church or around other Christian families that I allow in my home.?? DON’T THINK I DO THAT – I THINK WE ARE PRETTY CONSISTENT.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
9) I believe my church is God’s true church and that most other Christians may be sincere, but are sincerely wrong.?? SOMETIMES YES LOL.?? AND SOMETIMES THEY ARE…BUT THEN SOMETIMES MY BELIEF IS. THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO HEAVEN – JESUS ALONE AND MANY DENOMINATIONS TEACH THIS – WE NEED TO BE BETTER AT KEEPING THE MAIN THING THE MAIN THING.?? THE “CHURCH” IS NOT A BUILDING – IT IS PEOPLE WHO HAVE EMBRACED A RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS AND WE COME FROM MANY DENOMINATIONS.?? I MEAN AFTER ALL…MY VERY BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD IS ASSEMBLIES OF GOD AND I EXPECT TO BE SEATED QUITE NEAR HER AT THE MARRIAGE SUPPER HEE HEE.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
10) The exterior choices a person makes in what they wear, hairstyle, piercings, tattoos, etc. is a clear indication of that person’s character.?? I DO SOMETIMES THINK THAT BECAUSE FRANKLY SOMETIMES IT IS – THE OUTSIDE DOES PRESENT A PICTURE OF THE INSIDE IN SOME CASES (BUT I SUBMIT…NOT ALL)<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
11) I sometimes worry that people might take advantage of grace if it’s preached too much ???people might think they can do anything they want.?? YES YES YES LOL<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
12) After being around Christians for a while I feel drained ???weary of putting up a false front.???? SOMETIMES CHRISTIANS DO DRAIN ME LOL<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
13) When I happen to miss a service or activity of my church I feel guilty.?? SOMETIMES YES<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
14) I will likely get into heaven, even though I’m far from perfect, because I have tried to be a basically good person and God will take that into account.?? THANKFULLY I CAN SAFELY ANSWER NO.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
How did you do????? UH…..NOT VERY WELL LOL.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n
Curious…how did you do??? Feel like self exposing??? Apparently I am just going crazy with vulnerability today. \ud83d\ude42<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
Now let’s come back full circle to The Shack and why I want you to read it.?? The reason it moved me so much is because it drew to light my legalism…my performances, my desperate attempts to please God with my independance – doing it by myself having no idea what it really means to be “in” the spirit.?? Some people are responding very negatively to the concept in the book that the question isn’t “What Would Jesus Do” because God did not intend for us to “emulate” Christ.?? WOW BIG STATEMENT.?? Instead, He wants to LIVE IN us.?? He wants our relationship to be so loving and secure that our outward movement is an extension of our inward relationship.?? Oh if only I could get there.?? If I made a choice to not gossip today (for example \ud83d\ude42 ), not because I was performing and checking another “right action” off on my list but because Jesus and I were talking about it and that didn’t make sense as my next move.?? Moment by moment conversations with Jesus where He is empowering me to live by HIS spirit and not my flesh.?? What a concept huh??? He doesn’t want us to try to “prioritize” our time with Him because what could ever possibly be enough??? Instead He wants to be our center.?? Remember the whole “pray without ceasing” thing.?? :)?? He wants to live in us, and interact and be part of every moment.?? That isn’t nearly so overwhelming to me as “scheduling him in” to be frank.?? I DO talk to Him on and off all through my day.?? That is when I am letting Him live in me.?? When I check “30 min bible study” off that never ending list – that is me point scoring!?? The last two weeks I did my bible study without nearly the flesh pressure.?? I wanted it to be a natural part of my day – an extension of my conversation – the listening part.?? Not the top of the “to do”.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
Understand in reading this book that the intent is not to form a systematic theological outline of the trinity or to explain the full nature of God’s character – NOT BY ANY MEANS.?? However, so much of what was written about the trinity is absolutely true to the spirit of the scriptures.?? Obviously, no man in the flesh can write a fictional story and encompass all of God but on the topic of suffering…I think this book does an excellent job of detailing how our “Papa” relates to us.?? Oh what love.?? Incredible love. Overpowering love.?? Overwhelming love.?? The Shack reminded me over and over how much I simply don’t “get it”.?? Usually God doesn’t look much like “Papa” (you’ll understand later) to us but when you understand that God IS love – the very definition of the word – you seem Him a bit clearer.?? Michael W. Smith wrote a song that says “underneath the rebel lies a heart the Father holds and when you see your life through His eyes your alright”.?? I have always loved that.?? <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
For those that are claiming that this book hints at universalism (ie. all road lead to God) – NO NO NO.?? All roads do most assuredly NOT lead to salvation.?? Scripture is absolutely clear that FAITH (not WORKS) in Jesus is the ONLY path.?? The author does not abandon that however, he chose to focus on relationship over religion and I A P P L A U D him for that.?? We don’t need more religious dogma!!!!!?? We need more Jesus!?? BIG HUGE ENORMOUS DIFFERENCE!!!!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
I can’t believe how much He loves me.?? For the last two weeks God has looked like a large and loving African American woman named Papa to me – because I have needed him too.?? He is meeting me where I am at.?? I have pleaded with Him to show Himself to me and while camping He threw His arms around me and loved me big.?? I am anxious for all my loved ones to read this book.?? Dad called today after having finished it and echoed my praises for it.?? It has the DAZ stamp of approval (for all those I just made nervous with my gender swap label on God – again…read the book…you’ll understand).<\/p>\n
If you read the book, please please please email me or comment on this post (just search for it).?? I would love to know your thoughts and this book serves as a great catalyst for discussion worth having – even if you disagree with parts.?? I have read it twice now, discussed it with both Dad and Aunt Beck, and have highlighted most every page from 100 on.?? It isn’t real long and won’t take you much time to read.?? In fact, I can almost guarantee you won’t be able to put it down once you have picked it up.<\/p>\n
A Pastor on Paul Young’s blog made a comment that spoke to me today.?? This is written from the “perspective” of God (bare with me on that until you read the book):??<\/p>\n
It won???t be liked.?? It won???t be tolerated.?? It will be loved or despised.?? As each reader first steps across the threshold of the Shack, they will have an opportunity, granted by Me, to be deeply offended.?? As their hearts reel at the possibility of God stepping down as far as a big black hug, they will either be un-stumbled and touch the Son at Calvary, knowing the wounds also engraved in My wrists, or they will sentence themselves to a bounded vertical relationship; a ???thus far and no farther??? tension that never squeals with glee as I tickle them unmercifully or never groans deep within as I press my fingers into the open wounds of their own broken souls. – Pastor Lawrence Rae<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I am both of those??people – especially the latter but willing with so much in me to be the former.<\/p>\n
So I end this…choosing to be unstumbled and touching the Son at Calvary.?? Jesus is my reason.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I almost titled this post “Unstumbled and touching the Son at Calvary” but that seemed too long.?? You’ll understand why after you read this post.?? I have a tradition of picking up two to three books before going on a trip.?? I am a voracious reader and vacationing without new books is completely foreign to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-713","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mamas-diaries"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/713","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=713"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/713\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=713"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=713"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=713"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}