{"id":845,"date":"2008-12-12T01:00:21","date_gmt":"2008-12-12T08:00:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/x.jimanddoni.com\/?p=845"},"modified":"2008-12-12T00:11:17","modified_gmt":"2008-12-12T07:11:17","slug":"validation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/?p=845","title":{"rendered":"Validation"},"content":{"rendered":"

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***This is my favorite picture of Jim and Tori to date.?? Just a moment captured…but I love love love this one.?? I just edited over 40 Christmas pictures of Tori and that is just from my first shoot.?? I have at least 3 more that I want to do next week.?? So so so cute.?? Can’t wait to post them.?? \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

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This week I was standing in Walmart and noticed the very young cashier had taken a lot of time curling her long pretty hair before work.?? Made me wonder about her.?? Was she going somewhere after work??? Did she curl her hair to perfection everyday??? What was special about today?<\/p>\n

I have made a commitment to self to help other people live loved and that means affirming people – even perfect strangers.?? There are two problems I encounter though.?? First, I have to be very careful affirming (or even speaking to) men.?? Here is an example:<\/p>\n

While at the WOF conference, my mom and aunt and I get on an elevator at our hotel.?? Two men in their late 30’s join us.?? I am, by nature, a friendly person and I often just start talking without thinking first.?? This doesn’t always work out well.<\/p>\n

D:?? You two are going to be sorry you picked this hotel this weekend.?? (Smile)<\/p>\n

Men:?? Why is that?<\/p>\n

D:?? It is filled to the brim with ALL women!<\/p>\n

Sidenote:?? Yes I know all of you “thinking” people just sighed with exasperation at me for my naivety (as did my mother and aunt).?? Doesn’t it just prove my innocence though that my first thought was that two men would find that a bad thing??? I was thinking along the lines of an entire estrogen filled building.?? If I called my own husband and said “hey would you like to hang out with a couple thousand women all weekend” -?? what do you think he would say??? For those that don’t know Jim – I’ll ellaborate and tell you he would look at me like I was a nut because I should know that would be at the very bottom of his list of “things to do”.<\/p>\n

Men:?? (Smiling)?? Is this a lesbian convention?<\/p>\n

D:?? (Slowly the light turned on and I realized my mistake).?? No.?? It is a MARRIED convention.??(Okay not entirely accurate – plenty of singles at WOF but I was desperate and it was the first thing I could think of to redirect the mess I started).<\/p>\n

As you can imagine…that shut down the conversation in a hurry.?? Well at least with them…it started all over again with a berating from my mother and aunt.?? LOL.?? Okay…I admit…that was dumb of me though well intended.<\/p>\n

Back to the young cashier in Walmart…<\/p>\n

I decided that when it was my turn at the register I would tell her how beautiful she looked.?? I hesitated though.?? You know why??? Because women give me the strangest looks when I compliment them.?? They don’t buy it.?? They wonder what my angle is and what I want.?? They worry I am drawing attention to something and am being insincere.?? And sometimes…I WORRY…that they think I am hitting on them.?? People are so used to being ignored and unloved that their minds can only make sense of “give to get” compliments.?? For this reason, not hard to see why a woman would wonder if you were batting for the other team if you compliment.<\/p>\n

Right before I got to the front of the line, I told the Lord I would not let fear keep me from love.?? His perfect love casts out my fear and that is a gift that keeps on giving.<\/p>\n

So I told her and her whole face lit up.<\/p>\n

Last night at the Christmas Play, there was a scene where people of all tribes came before the baby Jesus and worshipped.?? An african american woman, playing the part of a tribal princess stole the show for mom and me.?? She was beautiful and her expressions of adoration were captivating.?? Mom kept leaning over and drawing my attention to her.?? After the show, guess who walks near us??? I immediately move in her direction determined to tell her.?? Mom caught up with her first, hugged her, and told her how beautiful and worshipful she looked.?? This woman beamed.?? She told mom that her big head from that compliment might keep her awake all night.?? \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

This morning I was reading my blog list and came across this 15 minute mini movie on validation.?? It is silly but it delivers its message.?? I got tears at the 13 minute mark.?? If you have a few, watch it.<\/p>\n

httpv:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao<\/a><\/a><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

If you have it in you to love on other people – DO IT!?? If you don’t have it in you – ask yourself why not??? You have the opportunity to live securely in the center of the King of the UNIVERSES love!!!?? He will fill your love tank to the brim and overflowing.?? You can stand in His validation line, and like every loving parent, He waits to love on you.?? Once you have what He offers, it starts to spill out of you onto others around you.??<\/p>\n

Just for fun…I want to challenge you to love on someone today.?? Someone you would normally be uncomfortable validating – maybe it’s a family member or a friend…or a stranger.?? Choose to love more and fear less.?? If you are up for it, comment back on this post and tell me about it.?? I know it can be scary but I believe that as you live loved yourself – you’ll find that it comes more and more natural to give that love away.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

***This is my favorite picture of Jim and Tori to date.?? Just a moment captured…but I love love love this one.?? I just edited over 40 Christmas pictures of Tori and that is just from my first shoot.?? I have at least 3 more that I want to do next week.?? So so so cute.?? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-845","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mamas-diaries"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/845","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=845"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/845\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=845"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=845"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimanddoni.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=845"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}