Next month it will be a year since I started on my “Live Life Loved” journey.?? BIG changes have happened in my heart in one year and my destiny is entirely different because of it.?? At the beginning of a journey, we often find ourselves with a lot more questions than answers.?? My questions have inspired a whole lot of think time.?? Quiet time.?? Standing down and rethinking so many things in my life.?? As I am slowly learning to live loved, Father has brought it to my attention that the decisions I am making in my own life are changing every aspect of me – including??who I am as a parent.?? So many nights I pray this prayer for my children:<\/p>\n
“Father please help me to teach??my children to love you and to know how very much they are loved by you.”<\/em>??<\/p>\n I can’t make them love Father.?? I can love Father and hope that they want to join in on that.?? How do I daily teach them how much they are loved by Father??? That has been a toughy for me.?? I keep praying the same prayer but??have had??no real idea how to start.??<\/p>\n Recently, I read a recommendation for a book called “Loving Our Kids On Purpose” by Danny Silk<\/strong>.?? When I read the review, my heart was moved.?? I think the portion of the review that most affected me was this:<\/p>\n “I would submit that for most of us parents, the goal of raising children is to teach them to obey.?? From the time we meet them at birth, our efforts are directed toward shaping the wills and wants of our children.?? We show them what is “good” and “bad” and then teach them to choose “good”.?? With all our might, we try to ensure that they turn out “good,” and the obvious method for accomplishing this goal is to teach them to do as we say.?? This book will show you that the goal of obedience and compliance is an inferior goal<\/strong>.?? It can actually be detrimental to both your children’s development of personal responsibility and their perception of God the Father.?? Although obedience is an important part of our relationship with our children, it is not the most important quality.?? If we fail to take care of the most important matters first, what we build on top of our foundation will not support what we were hoping to accomplish as parents.”<\/em><\/p>\n When I read that it really gave me pause.?? The book poses the question in the first chapter, “Does the motivating factor in your parenting match up with what drives the Father’s heart toward His children?”<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Hmmm….does it??? Wow.?? I needed to think about that.?? I didn’t like my answer.<\/p>\n As I read this book I stopped very early on and prayed this:<\/p>\n Father – thank you for answering questions I didn’t know to ask.?? Thank you for seeing my need and bringing me help.?? Thank you for loving me enough to take time investing in my education.?? I have asked you to help me teach my children how to know they’re loved – and you – in Your sweet time – are proving faithful to bring me the help I need to do that.<\/em><\/p>\n I spent all day yesterday reading, underlining, studying, writing in my notebook, brainstorming and then kept Jim up until midnight discussing relational parenting.?? He started the book this morning so that we can dive deeper in our conversations and be on the same page with our parenting model.<\/p>\n Here is what I learned about myself.?? I parent like I still live under the Old Covenant.?? God’s plan was always freedom but in order for His kids to understand why Jesus had to die, we had to know what bondage looks like.?? The New Covenant – the grace plan – was always “where God was headed” – always THE story…but it took time to lay the foundation.<\/p>\n Unfortunately, I am one that often feels more comfortable with a punishing God instead of a relational merciful one.?? Terrible isn’t it??? Why is that??? I have a few reasons that I have contemplated.?? First – my sense of justice demands it.?? Second – my sense of fairness demands it.?? Third – my need for power and control demands it.?? Fourth – my need to earn my own way demands it.?? I could probably write several more on this list.<\/p>\n So who does that make me as a parent??? An unyielding dictator.?? The “yellow truck”.?? What does that teach my children about living loved????? Uh oh.?? Houston we now have a problem.?? Mama realized her tactics are serving to undermine her mission.?? Mama keeps asking God how to teach her children to live loved and He is telling her “Parent like me – my new covenant terms – not the old.”<\/p>\n If my words are striking a chord in your heart to, please watch this YouTube video of Danny discussing A Culture of Honor (it’s only 3 minutes).???? I want you to hear some of what I am investing my time learning from so you will better understand where I am headed with this.<\/p>\n