Where is Pointer?

Where is Thumpkin where is Thumpkin?  Here I am.  Here I am.  How are you today sir?  Very well I thank you.  Run away.  Run away.  – Tori loving this one lately.

I intended to post the above picture the other day with the other set but I forgot it.  I especially wanted to include it to because Tori has been cracking me up with her expression when she points.  She makes that face every time.

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Tori:  Oh for goodness sake!  Are you putting milk in your tea?

(And yes I was.  My cousin Kelly mentioned a London Fog the other day and now I am hooked.  Earl Grey – Steamed Milk (or frothed) – and 2 T Vanilla Syrup)

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Ty:  Mommy!  Tori is saying that we can’t say a word that we CAN say.

Me:  What word Tori?

Tori:  (Deer in headlights)

Me:  Tell me what word you think you can’t say.

Tori:  Winnie the (whispers…)  Pooh.  We can’t say “pooh”.

Me:  Uh well Winnie is a pooh bear and they are very nice so that is a nice word.  You can say Winnie the Pooh.

Tori:  (Running down the hall)  YAY!!!!  We CAN say Winnie the Ppppppppooooooooohhhhhhh!!!!!

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Troy has nearly given me a heart attack the last two mornings.  All is okay.  Know that first.

Yesterday, Troy had a tough 6:00 AM feeding.  He ate but cried and cried and took about 1.5 hours to go back to sleep.   This happens sometimes and I think it is a reflux pain issue.  I got him back down somewhere around 8:00 AM.  The other kids were still asleep and I laid back down.  By about 8:30 AM his apnea alarm went off.  It was a two alarm.  I jumped out of bed and shook his belly a bit and the alarm stopped.  I saw him take a breath.    What especially freaked me out about this incident was that I had just been dreaming about pulling my brother Darin behind a boat and he was drowning and I was trying to get everyone to stop the boat because he couldn’t breathe.  I woke up from that and prayed for my children.  Jim and Tanner had left for early target shooting and having some of my birds out of the nest added to my post dream anxiety.  No sooner did I fall back to sleep that the alarm went off.

My bedroom is dark but even still, nothing stood out to me by Troy’s appearance.  I laid back down and watched the monitor.   It seemed to be reading accurately.   Was this a fluke like the one three weeks ago?   Within 10 minutes the alarm sounded again.  It was a 4 alarm this time.  I was scared to death.  When I shook his little belly, again I saw him breathe.   I was getting ready to call the Dr. when the loose lead alarm went off.   Breathed a sigh of relief.  Must be the monitor acting up.    Tanner had pulled the respiratory chord out by accident earlier in the day so I wondered if that had anything to do with it.  Maybe the chord was damaged.  I took off the apnea belt and inspected everything but nothing looked out of the ordinary.  I replaced the pads and leads just to make sure.

This morning, the same thing happened at 6:00 AM again.  It was an hour and half before I could get him to sleep once again.   And just like yesterday, his alarm went off at 8:30 AM.  It was at least a 4 alarm.  Moments later he had a seven alarm.  I broke away from him long enough to turn my bedroom light on and then sat with my hand on his belly tracking the monitor.  It was reading his breath movements the same as I was.   I called and left a message with the Dr. and stayed bedside watching his every breath wondering how long a person could keep this up.  Within about 15 minutes he alarmed again.  This time I about made myself sit on my hands.  I didn’t want to wake him this time.  I wanted to ignore the alarm and study his face, color, and chest.   I thought I detected slight chest movement and his color didn’t look any different.   He  alarmed two or three more times after that and I was finally convinced that he was breathing albeit very shallow.   He would continue to alarm until I would shake him (so I quit counting the alarms at that point) but when I would shake him he would take a deeper breath and the monitor would register it.    I am so glad that I made myself not intervene for long enough to truly assess the situation without panic dictating my actions.  I talked to the Dr. later in the day and he said that he thought all was fine if I could detect any chest movement at all.

Later when I checked the apnea belt again, I adjusted the pads a tiny bit for his larger size and noticed that it wasn’t as tight as I normally like.  Mid morning he had a bit of a crying jag and when I changed his diaper I again noticed the belt looser than my earlier adjustment.  My theory is that Troy’s temper causes his belt to expand so when he has gone back to sleep after crying through those morning feedings, he has loosened his belt too much to detect shallow breathing.  Tomorrow I will make sure it is tight before laying him back down to test my theory.

I feel like I will never get over my post traumatic stress from the sound of alarms.    I am so thankful for the monitor though.  Under the circumstances I would have a terrible time sleeping without it.   Having said that, because I have been through this before, I am not panicking as much as I would have otherwise.  When Ty would alarm, he would start losing color in his lips first and would go to dead weight and limp.  It was very obvious to me that he wasn’t breathing.  Because I haven’t experienced this with Troy, I have found myself at more peace about it.

I have an appointment with the Apnea Clinic and Phoenix Children’s Hospital next week so they can download the machine and see what they think.  I am eager to hear what the report says.   I think all is okay.   I really do.  Still…those alarms and the “what if’s” are a parents worst nightmare.    As much as I am enjoying his little stage, I must confess to being eager for him to get a bit older so we can get past this stage.  I never want to have to deal with apnea and a baby AGAIN!!!!

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I think he smiled this weekend while awake.  🙂

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He loves to be kissed by mama and he seems to try to reciprocate it.  So cute.   My Grammy observed this and said “he is just wanting to eat”.    I refuse that explanation.  😉   He LOVES mama’s million kisses a day (and Tori’s).

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His eyes have me baffled.  Troy’s birthfather has brown eyes and birthmother has hazel eyes (ironically they look VERY much like mine with green on the inside and brown on the outside).  I had Troy tagged for a brown eyed boy for sure.  However, his eyes keep reminding me of Tanner’s.  They have a distinct blue cast (more so than the newborn blue) and the inner portion is getting lighter.   Still too early to tell but I suspect he will move towards the lighter hazel side because they just don’t look like they are going to be a deep brown.  It’s so fun waiting and watching to see who he is going to be.  Next time I talk to S and K I will have to ask if they have much in the blue eyed genes in the family.

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And yes.  Still vomiting.  Mostly right after a feeding but sometimes not.  I go through so many burp clothes a day it is ridiculous.  I wish the cereal would help hold it down but so far that doesn’t seem to be the case.

That is all I know for today.

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5 thoughts on “Where is Pointer?”

  1. And I think it is MORE than I want to know 🙁 I too will be glad for this particular stage to be over (and I still can picture you with our little wired up (literally) Ty. It is no wonder that you are indeed having post tramatic stress. On a more fun note, I am cracking up at that cute little Tori!!

  2. My Grammy observed this and said “he is just wanting to eat”. – HA HA Grandma!
    Maddy would smile a lot, everyone told me it was gas. I didn’t believe them. HEE HEE

    This is all so strange to me, I’m going to research it a bit so I don’t hassle you with 500 questions (apnea thingy)…Hopefully he’ll be monitor free in no time.

  3. I’m still wondering if her is lactose intolerant?? Quinn’s throw up issues are nearly over when I cut out all dairy and then she started up when I gave her a formula that was 80% lactose free something the Dr. said to try. Didn’t work. Soy is the only thing that she doesn’t throw up but she wont drink it, so its up to me to pump and nurse and staw away from dairy. And now his rash..sounding very familiar. Hopefully not, but worth asking Dr. N.
    Love you see ya tomorrow!

  4. grammy is a wise woman but i’m totally with you on this one. 😉

    anxious to hear how the results of monitor are read.

    xoxoxoxox
    (ps – tori’s hair is SO loong and gorgeous!! how fun for mama to play with her girl’s hair. 🙂

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