I don?t talk about Ty?s Spectrum Issues too often on my blog anymore because my Ty is just my Ty and the different symptoms that Ty has are just part of Ty and who he is.? Because Ty is getting older though and some of his symptoms are more obvious to other people, I think it would benefit everyone to have a better understanding of Ty?s world.? How Ty relates to you and how you can relate to Ty.?? Obviously, I am biased towards my child and the ?what is in this for him? point is undeniably a central focus for me.? That aside though, building a relationship with Ty has many benefits for you as well.? Jim and I both find ourselves in the fires of refinement as we learn to parent a child with special needs.? We are thankful for all the icky stuff that is getting burned out of our natures in this process.? I would not want to be the woman I would have been had not I been given this most amazing gift.? God knew what a blessing Ty would be to us and how utterly needy we are of him in our life.? He has some precious gifts to offer all of us and I hope that I can help Ty learn how to give those gifts to you in ways that you can well receive them.? I also pray that I can help you learn how to open up your arms wide to our son and fold him in.?? He will be oh so grateful that you did.? So will you.

 

 

What must it feel like to be Ty -to feel things and taste things and socially perceive things quite differently than the rest of the ?normal? world?

 

When researching Asperger?s, I found it interesting that most children are diagnosed between the ages of 8 and 11 and are diagnosed AFTER having already been diagnosed with the following:

 

• Attention Deficit Disorder
• Sensory Processing Disorder
• Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
• Tourette?s Syndrome

 

Between the ages of 2 and 6, Ty did in fact receive all of the above diagnosis.? My frustrations came into play when the above list wasn?t adequately accounting for the social issues.

 

I think now is a good time to qualify a few things:

 

1. I am not a Dr. – just a parent making observations about my child.? I won?t get everything right.? I do my homework though and I do approach these topics from both experience and researching.
2. Ty does not have a diagnosis for an Autism Spectrum Disorder. It is more accurate to say that the diagnoses that he DOES have are on the Autism Spectrum (for example he has a diagnosis for Sensory Processing Disorder which is on the far left of the spectrum).? Jim and I along with our parents are all in agreement that a Dr. likely would diagnose Ty with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (more so than the SPD one that he has) but we have not (nor are we planning to today) scheduled an evaluation.
3. You will see me referencing Autism Spectrum Disorders including Asperger?s often in these posts because Ty has so many symptoms that fall on the spectrum.? This is not in an attempt to ?diagnose?.? Jim and I agree that is a moot point right now.? We are simply trying to work with what IS and we can identify that quite well with or without a label.
4. Autism Spectrum Disorders vary greatly in severity. You can have many symptoms on the spectrum without being diagnosed “Autistic” as Autism is the label at the far right end of the spectrum (and Ty clearly would not fall to the far right of the spectrum because he IS so social despite the social unawareness).

 

So what are these symptoms that Ty displays and what can/should a family member or friend do when they see Ty demonstrate them? ??Those are the questions I will be trying to answer over the next many postings.

 

(Note:? This weekend I sat down and interviewed Ty for 40 minutes.? He loved it and has watched the CD I made him over and over.? I had the thought that if I recorded an interview, I could probably capture much of what I wrote about.? The problem is, I captured it too well and in the aftermath of showing that interview to Sweetie and Aunt Becky, I have been really struggling emotionally.? My plan was to put clips of the video with many of these postings but right now, I simply can’t watch it again.? Too much of it hurts my heart.? Maybe next week I will be in a different place and will be able to put the time into selecting small clips to associate to this.)

On a lighter night, I hope you had a nice Mother’s Day.? Mine was interrupted due to the fact that we had to take Tanner to the ER for a possible UTI (that was ruled out).? He is feeling better now.? I teased him and told him that was a lousy way to get out of my lunch pick.? 🙂

Let me try this again because after reading the above sentence, that doesn’t really qualify as the “light” side.

This week I was in the grocery store and needed to get Mother’s Day cards for my sweet mother’s.? I suggested to Ty that he may have fun picking one out for me.? As I predicted, he thought that was a wonderful idea.? I noticed a large, orange Elmo card right off and I knew with certainty that Ty would pick that card.? He asked me to turn my back and close my eyes so he could keep his choice a secret.? He kept saying “Are your eyes closed Mommy?? You are never never going to know what I got you.”?? He managed (to my surprise) to get the card in the envelope and then he said “Mommy are your eyes still closed?? (I answer yes)? Should I close my eyes?”?? LOL.

When bringing in the groceries this week, I sent Tori to bed first for her nap.? Her window faces the front yard so she was peeking through the window at me as I unloaded.? I thought it odd that everytime I glanced at her, she was covering her eyes.? I finally figured out that she was thinking that if she couldn’t see me, that I couldn’t see her…ergo she wouldn’t get in trouble for not being in her bed.? :)?? I would equate Ty’s question above to being along those lines.

Anyhow, he was so excited to greet me this morning with that Elmo card and then insisted I bring it to church to show to everyone.? I’ll keep it forever.