Typical playtime doesn’t really exist.? We have tried to teach Ty to play since he was a baby but to no avail.?? In a day, Ty only has an attraction for his special interests.? That is it.??? If you try to engage him in any other activity (which we often do), he may give it seconds but then he will wander.? If you try to get him to socialize with other children, he is happy to do that so long as he can convince them to join him with his special interests.? If you insist that he sits down and PLAYS with his brother, the outcome is not going to be favorable because Ty will not know how to appropriately engage and ultimately will break all the social rules of the activity.? Ty, Tanner and legos do not mix.? Once in awhile, we will see Ty engage with Tanner in some sort of military play acting but I think that is because he is likely acting out his video game characters (as in he always wants to be Jason Bourne).

How You Can Help? Understand that Ty is not intending to be anti-social.?? Encourage Ty to interact with others but please be understanding when he struggles to do so.? Be prepared to repeat the appropriate rules of social interaction many times.? (For example, take turns, don?t knock over the blocks, don?t destroy the lego creation?).?? When he engages inappropriately (knocking over the blocks), please remember that appropriate social rules take a long time for a child with social spectrum disorders to learn because those rules make absolutely no sense to them.? They may be very obvious to us but they are not obvious to Ty.? He isn?t doing it to be mean.? Playing the ?right way? is something that takes constant repetition for him and patience from us.

In fact, in Ty?s world, we have found that the desired outcome for Ty is never to win.? He doesn?t think in those terms.? I had to laugh yesterday when he was doing his school work and had to answer the question ?Is it wise to try to get a good grade??.? Ty was totally baffled by that question.? It made no sense to him and he didn?t know how to answer it.? Why?? Because Ty doesn?t perceive ?winning? for the sake of ?winning? to be important or interesting so why on earth would it be wise?? When it comes to building legos (for example), one might assume that Ty is behaving in an anti-social and aggressive manner when he destroys the creation.? That is not Ty?s perspective.? Ty?s perspective is that taking it apart was more interesting than building it.? He doesn?t understand the thrill that the artist got in creating it so he has no empathy for the sadness they feel when he destroys it ? because he simply cannot relate and has no experience to draw from.

When Ty plays Xbox, he is far more interested in causing his character to jump off a cliff, or trip, or fall, then he is to win the game (though he is very skilled).? Please don?t read this to mean that Ty is aggressive or depressed or attracted to these painful ends.? It isn?t about that at all.? It is about humor.? Ty loves (I mean LOVES) slapstick humor.?? He loves shows like Funniest Home Videos and Elf and Jim Carey?etc.? When someone falls or trips or encounters some kind of minor catastrophe, Ty laughs his little head off.

I have learned with schooling Ty that I can never motivate Ty by the ?thrill of success?.? Instead, he is motivated by getting closer to being finished.

For the record, this drives Tanner insanely crazy.? Tanner is a ?do it right and by the rules? type of kid.? He cannot relate to why Ty does not have the same agenda and it frustrates him to no end.? Hopefully, as Tanner grows and comes to understand that Ty doesn?t perceive things the same way that many others do, he will not only come to accept Ty?s perspective but maybe even gain some appreciation for it.? I certainly do.