Age: 3.5

Today I have been wondering who runs the show around here. I naively thought that I did. (Well okay…Jim…but I mean when he is at work and I am IN CHARGE). I am beginning to think though that I have had a false sense of security in my position as supreme leader:)!

It seems that when a mother has controlling tendencies, one of two traits pop out in her children. 1). They take on a very submissive role and prefer to be led instead of leading. 2). They copy and develop the same nature. While neither option is great…I guess I would prefer number 2 to number 1. Good thing too because that seems to be what is happening.

It occured to me this week that Tanner is becoming a “mini” me. Today I asked Jim, “Who do you think is running this dog and pony show? Me or him?” (Referring to Tanner). He said “neither of ya”. LOL. I’ll now give some examples that will demonstrate why I am wondering if Tanner is usurping me on the throne.

Exhibit A

This morning Tanner came into my room exasperated. Apparently everything was in chaos and he needed me to get to work. Here is what he said:

“Mommy! Ty’s nose running. Clean him.” A second later…

“I go close all da doors! Ty gonna get in dere.” A second later…

“NO! Mommy don’t take toys out! All clean!” (He didn’t want me getting Ty’s toys out of the playpen because the room was clean)

Exhibit B

Ty was attempting to enter Tanner’s domain. Tanner’s playroom. I heard him say:

“Sowy Buddy – too can’t get in dere”.

Exhibit C

I went to take a shower today while Ty was asleep. I told Tanner that I would be quick but that I wanted him to tell me if Ty started making noises or crying. Tanner said:

“I check him if he do dis…(he then started pretending to gasp for air)”.

It was hysterical to watch Tanner demonstrate what he would be watching for but it was heartbreaking to me to realize that Tanner gets concerned about Ty’s apparent apnea issues too and has observed enough of them to know to watch for this.

****************************************

Other Stuff…

Tanner really likes Ty’s speech therapist and he anxiously waits for him to come each week because the ST works with Tanner a little bit. The ST is very good with positive reinforcement and Tanner’s love language is obviously affirmation. The ST is always telling Tanner how smart he is and what a good job he does. All week Tanner has been telling me:

“Mommy! I a smart kid”

Why?

Oh darn the why’s have started! I am totally okay with asking “why” when trying to gain an education. When trying to get mommy to defend her actions though, I am NOT okay. I have had to tell Tanner all week that he may not ask why when I tell him to do (or not) do something. It doesn’t matter why. I know some parents disagree with this approach. I feel very strong and solid on this point though. My 3 year old will eventually be educated in the ways of the world and will have all the why’s of the world explained to him. It is more important at 3 though that he learn a respect for authority. This will help him all his life if he can learn this young. Besides that, sometimes in urgent situations, I need immediate response and do not have time to answer why questions. If they can get away with the “why” stall…they will use it every time and I am not going for that one.

Anyhow, towards the end of the week he pulled another “why?” on me and I just looked at him not saying a word. He turned on a real sheepish expression and said “Ne’r mind”. It was so adorable! He has such a teachable spirit and that is an incredible blessing.

My Encourager

Jim, my Dad, and I have all agreed that we love to take Tanner along when we need positive reinforcement. When Daddy is playing XBox, Tanner spends the whole time affirming his plays. When Papa plays golf on the back lawn, Tanner tells him “good job” after every swing. This week I was even affirmed for cleaning. Isn’t it awesome when someone notices? He said:

“Good job! I like dat smell. So clean. Amazing!”

My heart swelled with pride. Not with my work. With my son.

Love Love Love

Earlier in the week I was making over Ty and kissing and playing with him. Tanner came up and got in my lap and pointed to himself and said “Mommy do you lus this kid?”

I got tears in my eyes at the question. Do I love this kid? Wow. What a question. Tanner…someday when you read this I want you to know something. I tried to answer your question when you asked but truly I didn’t have the words to do justice. I told you I loved you deeper than the ocean and higher than the sky. I told you I would love you forever and that NOTHING would ever take my love from you. Truly though, that can’t speak to even the half of what I feel for you. You take my breath away. Everyday I can’t believe God chose me to be your mama. You are the sunshine in my life and I will be thanking God for the gift of you throughout eternity.