When you spend your life in homes where males dominate, you learn some basic fundamental rules of War. Combat is an art and requires much strategy. Even at three, Tanner is learning these lessons well. I watch his subtle manuevers throughout the day. He thinks I am oblivious. No. I have observed this before. Four times over. I know how the game is played and I am prepared with counter manuevers. Tanner is quite subtle in his actions but his brother is not. I am wise to both of their tactics though like any mother of boys:). While Tanner works the situation with a casual and quick push to the left, Ty yells and is quick on the uptake with a blow right to the nose. Tanner distracts from the conflict. Ty boldly announces it tattling all the way.

This week, Tanner taught me about the importance of your equipment in combat. He wanted to play “town”. We bought him a little western town with cowboys, bad guys, horses, a stagecoach etc. and he loves to play with this set. I, however, do not. If he would allow some variation to our pretending it would be easier for me. I wouldn’t even require girly stuff. What if we could talk about Indian negotiations? Have a pow wow over prisoner exchange? Discuss water rights and the issues of free range cattle? Nope. I have to steal horses and run from invading dinosaurs. Over and over and over. If I make any other suggestions, the result is always the same. I just get to shoot. I take that back, my guys get shot so much that I at least get to enjoy the temporal power of resurrection because without it I would never have any men. I get to bring them back to life all the time and there is some measure of enjoyment there I guess;).

Yesterday Tanner gave me one little short guy with a gun and he took five cowboys and six horses. I didn’t care for this unjust division and attempted negotiations. Round and round we went but Tanner insisted that the terms of engagement were over and that decisions of consequence were set in stone. I got one guy. He got five. Period. End of story.

As a last ditch effort I said, “Tanner. I don’t really think it is fair that you have five guys and I have only one. What is my little tiny guy going to do against all your men?” His answer was classic “Tanner”. He said:

“Your guy has 600 bullets.”

Aaaghhh! That does change the dynamics a bit! I suppose I can live with five against one odds if I have the priveledge of the weapon of mass destruction. To prove his sincerity, he let me kill off a couple of his cowboys in my first round. Generous of him I thought.

Jedi’s Going Down

I am not the only one to be out manuevered by Tanner this week. Our friend John got a taste of this as well. John and Jim are Xbox Vidiots and they regularly engage in online combat. It is not unusual for me to get a late night call from John where he subtly tells me to go nighty night so that his buddy can come out to play. Whatever. I have plenty of things I can do with my time. There is something to be said for giving men time to battle through their aggression online:). I would far rather Jim combat with John LOL! (Yes I am just kidding;).

On this particular night, John was getting frustrated with repetatively being terminated. He expressed this frustration to Jim who laughed in response. Jim then told John that Tanner had been playing for the last 5 minutes:). John then realized what Tanner meant when he could hear Tanner say in the background “I got him again!”. LOL!

This was especially disasterous news for John’s wife Belinda. I figure that John will begin more regular training in the art of war because one does not want to be beaten back in defeat by a three year old TWICE. Sorry Belinda!

Continued Business Meetings

Tanner and Ty and I were sitting on the trampoline today and Tanner said “Let’s talk my bir-day.” We discussed details and ideas for quite some time but then I got hot and wanted to go inside. Just like a male, he was quick to find a solution. He dragged the patio table and a chair into the shade for me and said “This is warm spot”. (He meant cool:). So we sat together at the table and continued the discussion for a bit. He spends a lot of time trying to figure out what would be the most scary. I told him that we couldn’t do anything too scary because we didn’t want to give Noah nightmares. Tanner said “Dat okay”. Meaning…it is okay if it is too scary for Noah. He’ll get over it:). Today he liked the idea of spider webs and spiders and walking through an alligator infested swamp. Maybe an uncle can get us a rattlesnake before the party. Pa had one in his yard this week so the season has started. An uncle could skin it and BBQ it while they watched. They really do taste like chicken. I promise.

Fricatives

Tanner is slowly but surely getting his “f”‘s figured out. He can only say the letter is certain words but definite improvement!

Counting/Colors

Tanner finally had all his colors straight this week and counted to five. It has taken a long time to interest him in either of these subjects.

TV

Tanner and I get in squabbles over the TV all the time. He wants to watch animal planet all the time and I am sick to death of that show. To be honest, Jim and I have considered outlawing this show at times because we both get sick of their agenda. But alas I am sidetracking…

There are some shows that I don’t allow Tanner to watch and I tell him “That show is not nice”. This week, Tanner is turning the tables on me. I tried to watch Dr. “Shil” yesterday and Tanner said “Mommy. He not nice.”

Nice try Tanner.

Beautiful Boy

Wish you could see the way his eyebrows form an arch when he scrunches up his nose. Looks like a Raggedy Andy doll. I was looking at his skin next to Ty’s in the bathtub yesterday and there is such a huge difference between Tanner’s moon white and Ty’s olive complextion. Next I need a child with blonde hair and green eyes and I will have covered the gene pool pretty well:). Too fun to have children with such differences. God creates with such beauty and variation and I think it is so fun to revel in His unique handiwork. Studying the fingerprints of God on children is a very rewarding past time.