I should never use the word “Terrible” in a sentence connected to my child. Realize I say this in jest with a grin on my face. Oh my can he get in a heap of trouble though – thus the “terrible” description (but of course he isn’t really 🙂 ).
Before outlining his misdeeds of late, I have some fabulous and astounding news!
Here are Ty’s new stats:
Ty is 14 months corrected and 18 months actual. He weighs 25 pounds and is 34 inches long.
For his ACTUAL age:
Length – 92% percentile
Weight – 40th percentile
For his CORRECTED age:
Length – OVER 100% percentile
Weight – 65% percentile
Is that incredible? For children that were born at the time he was supposed to have been born, there is NO percentage of children taller than Ty and he is heavier than more than half!!! Under the circumstances of a MICRO preemie, I find this completely astounding!!! Who but God????
The Mommy Dependant Stage
I am pleased to announce though that Ty needs his mamma. Just like Tanner, he is going through more of a mommy attachment at the 18 month stage. He isn’t crying when anyone else holds him but he does want mom in the same room and he starts looking for me in a hurry if I disappear. The other day I let him sleep in his playpen while I was napping in my bedroom. When he woke, he was alone in the room. Scary day! He started screaming like the house was on fire. I ran in there to see what the fuss was and realized he was just scared because he didn’t know where mom was. When I picked him up he started kissing me and wouldn’t quit. It was one of the most adorable moments ever. I loved every minute of that mini reunion.
Eyes
Part I – Winking
Ty has the most adorable wink. He squints both his eyes at you and scrunches up his nose. There are these little expressions that get forever captured in a mom’s heart. This is one of them.
Part II – Body Parts
Ty is learning what and where his eyes are. He has correctly identified his eyes by pointing about 5 times now.
Part III – Esotropia
I am having trouble believing Ty’s strabismis is pseudo. (Explained all this in an earlier posting). He still looks quite crossed to me – especially when he looks closely at something.
Therapies
Physical Therapy is going okay but Ty seems to be in a bit of conflict with his PT. She tries to get him to concentrate on one item and he doesn’t like being corralled. They end up frustrating each other. Last week Ty tried to bite her. Yikes! I am getting ready to schedule is OT eval because it is more and more apparent to me that he needs some OT assistance. His PT described it well. She said he doesn’t have the maturity to grade his motion. In other words, every movement he makes is with the same intensity (which is strong, quick and deliberate). He is highly accurate with these deliberate movements but also painful. He can’t be “soft” for anything. He swipes and scratches and is quite painful if you interrupt his movements. Sadly, I don’t think he can control this…thus the need for OT. Ty’s GI and Ped still want him in ST as well though I am hesitant with that because….
Eating
Ty is doing fabulous (comparatively) with eating! He ate a whole hot dog (CUT INTO 1/8ths and non round pieces LOL) and slice of cheese for lunch today. I have to cut everything up very tiny because he still chokes like crazy but I found hardly a trace of food in his lap or on the floor today and that is a huge milestone for Ty. In the last two weeks he has begun to eat more solids every day. I still ask other people NOT to feed him though because he has to eat tiny bits. The chiropractor this week (mine) was about to feed him animal crackers before I quickly intervened. People assume an 18 month old would be capable…wrong. That is one frustrating thing about Ty’s prematurity. Because he is so big and is doing so well, people now assume two things incorrectly. 1. Preemies are just tiny babies that need longer to catch up. 2. Ty is totally fine and is suffering little to no effects from his prematurity. I understand how a casual observer would arrive at these conclusions but they are not accurate. When their assumptions lead to actions on their part (as in feeding Ty), it is very frustrating to me. People look at me like I am a nut when I am protective of him having no idea what lies beneath the surface. Example – I tried to give him a bottle with watered down gatorade last week and he choked four times. He still can’t manage thin liquid. He aspirated a sip of my coke into his lungs this week as well. That choking incident was a real doozy too. (*Note due to the current controversy – let me just add a footnote. 1. Ty is not on a regular diet of coke and very rarely gets even a taste. His SIP of my coke was an exception. 2. Ty chokes on thin liquid period – the coke point was irrelevant to the choking issue. 3. Ty gets little to no thin liquid in any average week. When he does get minimal amounts, he is closely supervised by mama.) While on the eating subject, I should also mention that I have caught Ty snacking on sunscreen, soap, AND Purell this week! Those handy little containers that snap on to the diaper bag worked well for me until Ty discovered what easy access he often has to the diaper bag and the hanging accessories thereof. Aaaghhh! My question is, who would eat these things twice? Yet he does every chance he gets.
Development
While we are on this subject, I am excited to report though that Ty learned to walk with his hands being held on July 4rth weekend! This is another big milestone achieved. David was walking Ty around Daniel’s house and I was astounded. I asked him how he managed it and he told me he pulled Ty forward so that he would have to take steps to keep balanced. It worked. He won’t do it much because he is smart enough to know that when I am holding his hands and walking with him, I have control over our destination whereas when he crawls, he reigns supreme. I never question the kids intelligence 🙂 . He did walk with the walker Sweetie bought him (as seen in the video) but only at Sweeties house on the carpet. At home he won’t do it because it gets away from him too quickly on our wood laminate floor. He is trying to take a step between the coffee table and the couch though and has managed successfully several times. My goal has been September for unassisted walking. Still hoping…
Ty’s Interests
1. My books – he likes to eat them. 2. The TV – he likes to turn it on and off – this is against the house rules making it even more enticing apparently. 3. The DVD cabinet. 4. The bathroom – he has discovered the toilet. How do you lock a toilet for a baby when you have a 4 year old that waits to the last minute to run for the potty? If I put a lock on the toilet won’t I create catastrophic issues for Tanner? 🙂 5. The playroom – generally not picked up with an assortment of toys on the floor not baby approved. 6. Any open container on any surface and darn it – he can now reach on top of the cutout wall behind my sofa – no where to protect my sodas. 7. Tanner’s light saber. It has a button to turn it on and off and one to change the saber light from blue to red. This is Ty’s new favorite toy and he knows how to operate both buttons. Problem – Tanner doesn’t like to share it. 8. The ONE thing though that captures Ty’s attention for the absolute longest is….drumroll….home videos of TY! 🙂 LOL. I put the 5 minute birthday video on DVD and Ty will scream at me to play it again as soon as it finishes. He LOVES to watch home movies!!!! Good thing his mommy loves to make them! Somebody appreciates my hard work LOL!
Mom’s Note
This is going to sound like a complaint but really it is just a comment in regards to the things we take for granted. Eighteen months ago I was certain that God had called me to raise a child with severe special needs when Ty was born 15 weeks prematurely. Today I question this. His long term needs may be less severe than I first thought (praise God). Still though, I am experiencing the teeniest tiniest forms of heartache that parents of special needs children are faced with. Like watching Ty crawl while his peers run….watching him struggle to eat the tiniest bits of food when peers are handed full crackers…little things in perspective but they are teaching me to be compassionate to the circumstances of others. This weeks event that made me dwell on these comparisons was rooted in my physical pain. For weeks I have been getting terrible headaches and neck aches. I realized this weekend that from the top of my neck to the center of my back – straight down the spine is numb. I finally decided to visit the chiropractor. She kept saying “WOW! You are REALLY out!”. Knew that. Guess what else I KNEW? The cause. Most mommies are not carrying 25 pound children around all the time. 25 pound kids walk. Hurt my heart for other mom’s this week. I believe this is temporary for me. I believe Ty is around the corner from walking. For all those mothers though who are continually lifting and carrying older children who cannot support their own weight…my heart hurts for you and I honor your love and commitment to your precious children. It is hard. Physically it is hard. Emotionally it is hard. And I only understand the tiniest fraction of it.
Having said that though, I am privileged to wear the battle scars of strain. Ty is a marvel and I would carry him all my life. I point this out only because it came to mind this week as I questioned my neck and back issues – I do not intend to complain. I am blessed beyond belief and every price that I have been asked to pay has been utterly small and inconsequential to the incredible miracle of this gift.
17 responses to “Ty the Terrible and Terrific”
Wow! Ty is getting so big!
I find it unbelieveable that you would let a child with his swallowing issues sip soda!!! Not only is the sugar bad for him in general, it’s horrible to have that in his lungs!
Lisa – if we all sat around and compared notes on what we each define as “unbelieveable” I am sure every one of us mom’s would have quite a lengthy list for each other:). To be honest, I (like most mom’s)certainely do have a list of what is most important to me in child rearing and sugar intake is not on the top of my list :). NOT to say that I encourage a lot of sugar, but I am not a legalistic when it comes to moderate levels of sugar intake. Further, the coke was no more the issue of aspiration than the water and gatorade was (and have you seen the sugar in gatorade…why stop the complaints at coke 🙂 ?. ANYTHING in Ty’s lungs is not good yet he does need to learn how to control thin substance. This is not an attempt to defend coke being in the best interest of my child or any child (it is not in MY best interest either)…but I don’t consider it the evil of all evils either.
If it would please you though, I will wave my magic wand and award you the “Mom of the Day” award. You would have plenty of people applauding your valiant efforts in maintaining a coke free home.
I, however, am sitting back sippin’ a cold one with a grin on my face. 🙂
P.S. Does it make a difference if I add that my coke was DIET? LOL. That will only make this conversation nosedive into controversary. Now I have beckoned out all the anti articificial sweetener crowd. Can’t win for loosing 🙂 .
AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can’t help but be smirking as i read this conversation! and laughing out loud actually! you know, doni and i are GREAT friends who agree on all of the most important issues of life (at least as we see it – ha ha!) over the years we’ve found more and more differences than we used to find (used to be that she cut her sandwiches in half as rectangles and mine were at the diagnal so as to make triangles)… my point is – we major on the majors – know what i mean? we can laugh at how we see things differently and love and appreciate one another anyway.
one of our differences is in how we’ve fed our children when they were young. we’ve let up more the older seth has gotten (as we knew we would and intended to) but we tend to lean towards a more health-conscious influence in his eating – though you’d hardly think so lately (every time we ask what he want to eat he says ‘sergasies?” (burger fries) – hee hee….
still, doni and i would have probably argued had we been a married couple! ha ha! that said, one thing we have always been very careful to do is to show the utmost in love and respect for one another and our individual (and family) rights to raise our children as we see fit. though i would not have let seth have tastes of coke as early as she let her boys taste coke – in essence, it’s none of my business what she lets her boys taste!! that coke won’t be the ruin of her children either… there is so much more that doni and her family do to create an incredible environment of love and protection that things like this seem rather insignificant in my eyes. i’d still trust her family with seth any day.
honestly – i’m rather surprised that someone would read all that she’s written in todays post and yet coke is what stood out the most. lisa, i’m sure you mean well, but i hope you can lovingly agree to disagree and laugh at “the things some mothers will do…” read more of what doni’s written and i have no doubt you’ll be unable to see anything but a heart full of love and adoration for her kids…. a mother who is doing a GREAT job of raising two amazing boys.
(funny thing doni, jas and i just had a talk about the very subject of coke and seth – particularly DIET coke! ha ha! seth DOES ask for it because daddy drinks it… and at our favorite restaurant he always asks for coke and our favorite waitress ALWAYS brings him his own cup now (of which we let him have a few sips) hee hee…
was thinking more about this… isnt there some sort of unwritten code between moms (and even parents) about this kind of stuff?
i guess it’s nice that you and i know one another well enough to be able to talk about our ideas as people, as women, as parents, as friends…. and when we come to the part where we say “oh no, that’s not how i’ll handle things with my children…” we can smile, sometimes laugh, and just love one another while watching each others children grow up to be wonderful individuals regardless of these little differences in how we raise them.
lisa was upset about COKE? the mention of a hot dog raised my eyebrows a lot more. quite honestly, i didn’t even notice that you said it was COKE? it’s amazing the different things that get a rise out of people. i’m of the opinion that it’s YOUR child to raise, and i’ve been following this since i found the site when i was prego with my May 19, 2004 baby. you’re a GREAT mom! lisa, i guess you’d really be upset with my giving jacob a sugar packet poured onto the dinner table just so we could finish our dinner and get our bill. granted, he didn’t eat much of it, just played with it and drew in it with his fingers….
but really, back to the hot dog thing. i guess every mom has their ‘thing’. and hot dogs are mine. i know someone who just lost their 4 year old to a hot dog choking. and right after that happened there was a 2 year old that lost his life because of a hot dog. now i know what you’re going to say, all food propose a choking hazard. and you’re so right. but i just can’t bring myself to giving jacob a hot dog. i keep joking that the first one he’ll ever eat will be with his own children.
anyway, i don’t comment very often. i’m quite the passive person. but i just thought what you wrote was funny!
you’re fabulous and i LOVE reading about your family and Ty’s fight! you (well….really, HE) was such a great spiritual inspiration to me! thank you for sharing your life.
Jenn
(now i’ll probably go back to just being a passive reader again)
Wow Ty is doing great! Cason is 18 months, I think a few weeks ahead of Ty, & has lost so much weight he is just now 22.4 lbs (& he’s only 10% in height). He gained 2 oz. in two months. He was an extremely chubby baby (although only weighed 6.0 lbs. when born); however, hopefully it’s just genetics kicking in. His birthparents are tiny little things so hopefully his drastic weight loss is just following in their footsteps. That & he runs everywhere! Anywho, go Ty! 🙂
And regards to camping – I’m proud of you! Cade, who is also four (a month ahead of Tanner) has NEVER slept away from me. Never. And, I don’t think he will until he’s 25. 🙂
And regards to the Diet Coke….LAP IT UP, Ty! YUMMY! Cason loves it too! He doesn’t get much but when he does….yippee! Cade is a diet coke drinker as well, & unsweet tea (gag) like his daddy. Oh, & we just saw on the news a week or so ago that sugar does NOT make children hyper. They “said” it can do quite the opposite actually. But hey, who cares? Gotta enjoy life! And let me tell you my boys were, today, when they were eating M & M’s & Sweetarts. 🙂
Jenn – if it helps any 🙂 – I am paranoid about hot dogs too so I cut them not into quarters but into eighths!!! There wasn’t much to choke on. I do NOT think hot dogs are the healthiest but I am at the stage of giving him what he will eat and he likes them (so does Tanner). Good training food for him but I limit how much he gets and I cut them into miniscule bits. I was going to clarify that one when I posted it to because I know most of us mom’s are paranoid about hot dogs for good reason:).
Hey Doni – Ryann is 14 months old and when I read your posts about what Ty is doing, I can’t help but think that he is so normal (well, compared to my “normal” 14 month old:) Let me give you just a couple of examples: The toilet – I cannot keep Ryann out of it and it drives me crazy. We can’t lock our toilets either because of our darling 3 year old who also waits until the last minute (and truthfully, so do I). Unfortunately, she also has found the toilet brush and the plunger to be incredibly fascinating and fun. Am I the only stupid mom who didn’t think to put those away??? I have found the plunger in the foyer for all to see when they visit, the toilet brush has ended up in the bathtup while the tub was filling for Ryann’s bath, its amazing the things one small human can do with them:)
Also, Ty eating the lotions and creams made me laugh because Ryann constantly puts bubbles in her mouth. My mother in law brilliantly replaced the bubbles in the container with water, but she manages to find her sis’ bubbles and eat those. I look at her and say “Why in the world would you WANT to eat those???:) As she puts the wand into her mouth yet again. Nora used to do the same thing as well as eating the suds in the dishwater – my biggest complaint about that was that if we had ever thought to use washing her mouth out with soap as a punishment, it wouldn’t be a punishment because she chooses to do it herself;)
Also wanted to let you know that a cousin of one of my friends just had a 25 week baby boy last Sunday. I heard on Wednesday that he was doing “well”, but don’t know much more than that at this point. Would you mind if I passed your name and info along to that family in case they need some support – or will that be an emotionally difficult thing for you to help them with right now? (Since they are Dutch, I have no idea if they would even welcome the support or info… Dutch people in my world are notorious for always being “fine” and able to do things on their own without letting other people in).
And for the record… my only issue with Coke is that it is black and stains clothing. So our rule is NO BLACK SODA. I am one cruel and completely insensitive mom for that one. Which is fine with me, I just make up for it by giving them kool-aid and cotton candy;)
Just wanted to let you know that you are not the only mom carrying around 25+ pound children. Adam (born May 30, 2004) weighs in at 27 pounds and has always been above the charts for height and weight. Plus I have a 39 pound almost 3 year old that still needs his momma. I have been suffering with 2 bulging disks and I can relate to the pain.
Ty seems to be right on track with most May babies. I belong to a message board and there are still several that are not walking yet. As for coke, there are worse things that one could give their child. :o} and you responded greatly, much better than I would have.
“@*!!**” You gave him pop? Not smart.
Apparently, a few people have a very false sense of security about my openness to these types of comments. First – I will not allow profanity – thus my edit to “freaks” remarks. Second – I have the power;). I can ban people that make these types of comments and I will. I really do have a little magic wand LOL and I’ll use it. I have no problem with people commenting on my site with opinions that are different than mine, but you cross my boundaries when you get personal, offenisive and rude. You have entered into my private domain without invitation and I have allowed you but I will require respect and an exercise of class when you comment on my personal family site.
There are many people that frequent this site that I do not know personally but have come to have great love and respect for. I do not feel “violated” by lurkers and enjoy the postings and comments of my family and friends and those who frequent my site who I have not been priveledged to meet. This “warning” is not being issued to you. It is only to those who are choosing to be antagonistic. I don’t have time or the energy for it and I consider it a violation to the journals that I will someday print for my children.
Go Doni!!! Way to stand up to people who apparently have too much time on their hands. I only spend time commenting on things that will make someone or myself feel better. They really need to grow up!!! Yes HJ I do think their is an unwritten rule between moms about this kinda of stuff.
And wow Ty is doing so many things amazing, my Kourtney just started walking but, she refuses to talk or recognize any body parts and why would she need to when she has 4 older siblings doing it all for her ugh! I guess shes to busy seeing the world at a different level. They truly do things when they want to and at different stages is it awesome to watch them grow and explore. Being a mom is the best job ever, and thank you Doni for allowing us to see a glimpse of your life it never fails that when I read I am either smiling, laughing, learning, crying, or sometimes even bugged(re: very opinionated comments)!!!!
I think you really inspire us moms, You make me realize how much I love my family or how much I am really “normal” come on picture this….whos house is always clean, you are showered and dressed the kids are dressed and they never fight or ever have candy the bills are paid and dinner is on the table at 5:00???? I’m talking everyday and with your sanity still in tack? ha ha That’s only on T.V. You really need to have fun in life and enjoy every min. of it and not worry about all the little things and what people think about you. I am sorry this went on like it did but I was just frustrated that somebody would question something that you did as a parent you are an awesome mother and, just like most moms out their. We giggled the first time my baby took a drink of soda and she made a funny face and you are exactly right about the amount of sugar have you ever looked at whats in Gatorade and most juices its a little mind boggling. Thanx for letting me babble and leave comments on your sight you are doing just great.
hA Hot dogs coke cookies etc! Girl give your kid what you want. I have a soon to be 5 year old who lives off hot dogs. He is in the 95% for all his life. 42lbs and 44 inches tall! I feel bad when I have a soda and I don’t share with Sage (13 months) I feel like I am doing something wrong like teaching him not to share.
Anyhow it looks like he is one growing boy, Ty that is! Gosh he probably looks 2 years next to Sage (21lbs maybe 30inchs tall)…lol Poor kid is just so small. He just barley started walking and it only took him about 2 weeks from the time he took 2-3 steps, so watch out, Ty may pick it up quicker than you know.
I am glad to hear you are all doing well!
i’m just shaking my head… where in the world does someone get whatever it is that it takes to come into someone else’s world and post profanities! did that commenter really think that you would consider his/her opinion based on that remark? one thing i know for sure is that is NOT the way to get someone to hear you.
As the mother of a 24wker, I have to admit that I’m surprised to hear that you gave your child coke – diet at that. I was just referred to your site, so excuse me as I don’t have much history – rather some questions.
1. Does your child have any form of reflux (or recently resolved reflux, potentially still considered Silent Reflux)?
2. Are you aware that giving a child of this age soda is/was a risk? Even more so with artificial sweeteners?
Not griping at you, but just curious – education is an important thing as a parent, and sometimes you just find things out the hard way (I’ve certainly been there with other situations, as most of us). I don’t think it makes you a bad parent, maybe just uninformed.
So often people are quick to say, oh it’s okay – I do it all the time, but just because others do it – doesn’t make it okay. Please reconsider this action (giving a child coke) in the future, as it can have serious affects – as you’ve already noticed.
Beyond this point, to the topic of aspiration – we’ve certainly been there, fortunately only once. While my son was teething, he caught a “teething cold” – he also has severe reflux. In one 24 hour period, I think he spit up everything, plus a little more, that I put in him. The dr had us on pediasure, but at some point during all of that, he aspirated. As with all congestion colds with him, adding the aspiration caused Pneumonia within a couple of days. His oxygen requirement rose from 3/4 litre to over 2litres in a matter of a couple hours, and we were quickly on the way to the ER. Fortunatly, the newly diagnosed pneumonia due to aspiration, hadn’t developed to the point of full infection. After 2 days in the hospital, still no fever, and the mass was stable to less that original size, we were released. It was 2 months before he was back to his normal oxygen settings. We have a little device we now use daily to pound his chest & back (CT-Chest Therapy), to keep things from settling.
It’s very scary, but we do – and will continue to avoid anything that may increase his risks associated with his lungs/breathing. Afterall, we spent 6.5 mo in the NICU just to get this baby home – it wouldn’t be right to be neglegent or careless, just because 🙂
Good Luck.
Katra –
I wrote a lengthy reply to this but deleted it. I am not going to set myself up for having to answer to the general public in regards to my parenting decisions.
I have to choose my level of vulnerability when it comes to posting my personal journals. Part of that choice includes consciously knowing when to step back from a conversation.
I am sorry to hear that you experienced pneumonia with your little one. I am sure that was a terrifying experience.
Note – I am choosing to lock this post from further comments. I am continuing to get comments that are offensive and out of line and I am not posting them. It has become apparent that these posts are NOT from my regular web readers. Someone apparently posted a blurb on a bulletin board and is increasing my traffic.
Asserting my magic wand powers now:). Posting effectively closed.