Last week Tanner wanted to stay up late and play Xbox with daddy and I wanted to go to bed. I told Tanner that he should tuck ME in. He thought this was a great idea. He told me to go get my jammies on and then he walked me to the bathroom where he watched as I brushed my teeth. He is quite proactive and got me a drink of water all on his own.

When I climbed in bed, he pulled the covers up and tucked them around me. He then prayed and it was so precious. Sounded very much like the prayers that Jim say’s at his bedside each night. He thanked God for our family, for church, for his school, even for waking up in the morning. He prayed that Ty would sleep good and be safe and that mommy would sleep good too.

Then he walked around the house and turned off all the lights.

I learned something about Tanner that night. He is going to make a wonderful daddy because he loves to be a care giver. He has no problem assuming authority, even at 4. I was picturing that book “I’ll Love You Forever” (is that what it is called?). The book that I refuse to read again because it made me sob my heart out! Can’t believe they wrote a kids book like that…sheesssh!!! I could picture the last scene of the book though with the little boy now man carrying his elderly mother to bed. Tanner is compassionate and in those “tucking in” moments, I saw this little glimpse of the man he will become…it was beautiful.

I determined to not play that little game very often though. While I enjoyed every moment of his tender concern, I have this strong belief (instilled in me by my mother) that parents are to be givers and not takers. I never want to find myself “needing” from my children. I want to be the person that gives to them. Sometimes I see parents desperate for emotional support from their kids. Kids are not (generally) born givers. They have to be taught. You teach them by investing in them and filling their little love tanks – not by being needy. When they are older (much older) and mature – they will understand what it means to love because it was modeled.

To this day, my mother has never demanded a thing of me. She would give tirelessly to me and not ask for anything in return. She prioritizes my time, my schedule, my well being, my needs. Why? Because she relishes in being a mother. I don’t think she reminds herself to be “a giver not a taker”. It just comes naturally to her. She lives to love her children and she does not have a list of expectations for me in how that love should be reciprocated. I noticed and I want to be just like her.

(Consider the above in context though and realize that I do not believe in training selfish self serving kids – I do believe you need to teach kids to be unselfish and giving – I am only talking about not being needy of my kids meeting MY emotional needs. It is MY job to meet theirs – not the other way around.)

Patience

Kids are teaching me how patient I am NOT. The other day Tanner kept asking me for a drink. I was preoccupied in the kitchen and kept telling him to wait a minute. Finally he got pretty loud about it, frustrated that he had to ask so many times. I turned around and said “Tanner! You need to just be patient!”.

His reply left me staring open mouthed (and his daddy had to hide his face in the fridge so Tanner wouldn’t see the laughter).

“Mommy! You need to just get moozing!”

You know those moments when big eyes meet little eyes and little one realizes they just made a momentous mistake? Tanner quickly followed with “Just Kidding!”

Yes…that was very sassy of him – something he is not generally prone to. The way it just slipped out of his mouth though made me realize how often I say to him “Tanner – you need to get moving”. Was way to easy for him to fire that back at me.

Tanner’s “School”

Tanner is still LOVING BSF each week. So much so that he has started laying out his clothes day’s in advance! He is so excited to get to go and thanks the Lord for his school all the time. Last week we were studying Genesis 2. Part if his homework was to have mommy read Genesis Chapter 2 and then to answer a question. The question was “What did God say when he finished all that He had done?” (The answer was supposed to be “He said – It is good!”

Tanner is writing what I call the TJBV (Tanner James Brinkman Version of the bible). It is the passion version. According to Tanner, God didn’t say “It is good”. He said “Wow!!! That is AMAZING!” LOL.

I also find it cute that Tanner has called me “Miss Mommy” a few times this week. LOL.

Tanner’s Prayer

When Tanner pray’s at mealtime, this is what he say’s:

“God thank you for makin our food. Thank you for makin me. Amen”. I am assuming that he thanks God for making himself because when I pray for Tanner I always thank God for making Tanner and for giving him to me…guess he is just carrying this tradition on and I think it is precious.

General Funny Stuff

The other day Miss Barb (Ty’s PT) was on her way over and I was trying to quickly pick stuff up. Tanner didn’t feel like helping so he said “Mommy, I fink Miss Barb likes it messy”. 🙂

Tanner was using an unkind voice with his brother recently and I told him he needed to say what he has said again but using kind words. He said “Uuuuugggghhh! I don’t know which word! I need to fink fink fink!” 🙂

So adorable…