Usually I write separate postings for the boys but today I am going to combine them because so much on my heart applies to both of them. I have not written an “update” for a quite a bit now and I am starting to get emails about this LOL! Sorry folks!

My little munchkins are faring just fine and we had a wonderful Christmas! It took me two hours to reorganize their playroom to make room for new stuff. Sheesshhhh!

I’ll start with my Tanner update:)

Best Friends

Tanner and Noah have determined that they are best friends now but Brooke and I wonder if this is safe. Safer than Noah and Ty being best friends I am sure. (There is the same age difference between Tanner and Noah as with Noah and Ty so we may be in big trouble next year).

Tanner recently spent the night with Noah and their mischief knew no limits. First Noah proudly told his daddy that they were playing a fun game. They would wait until the sprinkler heads surfaced and then they would jump on them. Daniel LOVED that. Then they decided to make a mud puddle for the pig. Pig’s like mudd puddles. Besides, Noah figured that the goat and Tanner would both appreciate it too. He was right. All parties actively participated and thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Then they needed a swim. The dog’s big basin of water would make for a great pool they thought. Tanner pleads the fifth on that one. Brooke wondered why I didn’t bring a separate set of clothes. I wondered why Brooke thought Tanner needed more clothes. I love telling her that Tanner NEVER gets into this kind of mischief at MY house. This will all come back to bite me soon with Ty though – I just know it. Also for the record, Daniel spied on the boy’s and he had to admit that all the ideas did come from Noah and that Tanner just shrugged his shoulders and went along with the idea if it looked interesting enough to him. He was really quick to throw Noah under the bus though when it came time to detail their perils. I was not surprised to hear that at all. I was a tattle tale too:).

Melt My Heart

Recently we were at my Aunt’s and Tanner was really proud of himself for going quite fast on the scooter on the back porch. He wanted me to watch him so I sat on the porch and gave him all the appropriate mommy accolades as he flew past. On one such quick sail across the porch, he actually managed to look at me and wink while he was soaring. It was one of those precious and adorable moments that just seemed to slow down. My little boy was winking at mama and saying with his eyes “I am adorable, and amazing aren’t I mommy?” Oh yes yes yes my son you are!

What would I do?
…without Tanner:) A couple of weeks ago we went shopping at Walmart. I have a tendency to forget where I parked and have even been known to call Jim crying from Mall parking lots because I don’t even know what department store I entered from. Listen people – sometimes I just have to much on the brain to focus on the mundane – I can’t help it!

Anyhow, I am wandering around the parking lot with Tanner and Ty having no idea where my car might be so trying to sound like the “adult” in the situation, I say “Oh I think it’s over here – let’s head this direction”. I turn and begin walking and I hear this little voice say “Mommy. Our car is right over there.” I turned around and sure enough an isle over I could see our car. The icing on the cake was when he added “See mommy. You just have to look at the wheels.”:) This is especially funny to Jim. Several weeks ago I was complaining about our car missing hubcaps. It looked like a ghetto car and I was being vain about it. I pleaded with Jim to go get us new hubcaps. Little did I know that Jim had been anxious to get rims for the car. I did not realize what a big difference there is between rims and hubcaps. Six HUNDRED dollars later, I realized the difference! Aaarrrgghh! So now we have super wazoo rims and Jim smiles that I can’t complain about the ghetto look anymore and he faults me for whining. Tanner, just like a male, took special interest in these new wheels as well (apparently) and was quick to point out that I should have recognized our new rims. Darn it – he was right. How ever did I miss them?

That is Cool

Tanner is too anxious to grow up. He loves commercials and is a sucker for advertisement (he and Aunt Becky would make for a terribly compulsive duo). Before Christmas he was watching a commercial and wanted me to rush in to see it. I forget what it was but something artsy with scissors. Tanner said, “Look mommy! It’s say’s be carsul with scissors! By your sels! Wiss a child! That’s pretty cool!”

Allow me to interpret: Look Mommy! Somebody is letting those kids play with scissors. All by themselves! And they are just kids! Isn’t that so cool?”

I said “no”!

Christmas Concerns

Over the Christmas holiday’s Tanner kept repeating something to me that wasn’t making any sense. He kept saying “Some people aren’t getting Christmas”. What did he mean by that? Each time he mentioned it we were in the middle of something and I didn’t take the time to investigate. One evening Tanner and I were pulling out of the garage when he said “See mommy! I told you some people aren’t getting Christmas!” I asked him what he was talking about and he pointed to the house across the street. Our neighbors had the audacity to leave their lights off and there were NO christmas lights – none whatsoever. How dare they? There should be CCR’s against such things (I better not say that or our dumb association will write that in!).

I then had to point out to Tanner that our house didn’t have Christmas lights up either but we were getting Christmas. Tanner said “I know! I keep twying to tell Daddy that!” LOL. So I guess we failed our four year old this year. He believes in the aesthetics of Christmas and we didn’t put up a single outdoor bulb. Poor little guy was afraid Christmas wasn’t going to come. Notice he didn’t say Santa though:). He was also calling the decorations “directions” and everywhere we went he would say “Mommy? Don’t you like those directions?” He is so sweet with this – he always looks for things that he thinks I will like and makes me take notice. I hear the words “Mommy you GOTTA see this” all the time. I love it when he wants me to participate in his world and he keeps his eye out for things that will make his mommy happy. Very sensitive and insightful for a male of four:). His future wife will be quite pleased with this trait. I also let Tanner pick out gifts for Daddy and Mommy this year. He thought that daddy needed a new baseball hat and he thought I would like something pretty for my hair. Ultimately, he didn’t find what he wanted and I got chocolate instead. I like that too:)

Ty also bought me a gift this year. Guess what it was? A Mr. Stretch!!!! I have been wanting the boys to want a Mr. Stretch because I think he is the coolest thing and an awesome stress reliever. What an appropriate present from my littlest boy:)! I really did love it and I stretch that toy to pieces when I am watching TV. Ty and I both want to bite him though and if he leaks corn syrup all over my front room – I am going to be very sorry. It’s hard to convince Ty not to bite him when I really want to bite him too. I completely understand this particular oral fixation:) (Mr. Stretch is from the Fantastic Four)

Mommy
And my all time favorite Tannerism of the last few weeks!!! We were discussing our names one day and he told me that his name was Tanner James Bacon:). I like that rendition of his last name hee hee! Anyhow, I told him that my real name is Donielle but that most people call me Doni. Then I asked him “Tanner, what do you like better, Donielle or Doni?” He thought for a second and than he gave an answer that will warm my heart for years to come. “I like mommy”.

For many years I believed the most beautiful name would be “mommy” and it was a name I couldn’t claim. Every day spent without my children, dreaming, hoping, crying, pleading, waiting, praying, praying, praying…wondering if ever I would hear those words. Imagine my joy when my four year old miracle told me that his favorite name for me is “mommy”. So many treasures in my life.

Now let’s talk about Mr. Ty a bit. It used to be that I could only give medical updates on Ty and all the fun stories were about Tanner. Now Ty is coming into his own and the next year will be packed full of entertaining Ty stories. He is going to be my adventure for sure. I’ll start with the medical stuff though.

Eyes

Well – I don’t have super fabulous news to report here. Because our insurance changed due to Jim’s new job, I had to change eye Dr.s. We finally got into see the new children’s specialist in December. He was wonderful! I am going to have a bit of trouble explaining what he said to me but maybe someone else can help clarify this or I’ll get more info later.

He told me that when Ty had surgery in Nov of 04, it was for a certain type of strabismus (also called esotropia). As it turns out though, there are 3 forms of strabismus and Ty has all three (of course). The back of his eye muscles are crossing and he is likely experiencing double vision and has to tilt his head a bit to set things straight. He will be having a second surgery for this in the near future. I have been saying for quite awhile “his eyes are still not right”. Mommy was correct.

Secondly, he has stigmatisms in both eyes. Not too big a deal but this makes contact use harder for future so I wish this weren’t the case.

Third, his vision and stigmatisms is fairly equal in both eyes so the Dr. doesn’t think glasses or eye patches would be helpful at this stage. It would be different if one eye were at risk of taking over but as it stands both have similar problems. He could be at risk for this in the future again though.

Fourth….due to his brain hemorrages, Ty has retinal nerve damage. This is the first time I have had any offical diagnosis that stems from Ty’s bleeds. Thankfully, it is very mild. The Dr. told me that the retinal nerves should be pink or orange in color and that Ty’s are yellow. He said that when this occurs, it is from intraventricular brain hemorrages and that it may make it more difficult for Ty to learn to read and write. I am assuming this means that this is not correctable and is more of a brain issue than an eye issue but I need to clarify that. The good news is that on a scale of 0 to 4, the Dr. believes the damage to be less than 1.

Fifth…Ty has “fourth nerve palsy”. I am not exactly sure what this means. I read the material but it seemed closely related to the strabismus issue. I don’t know what this stems from. When I understand it better, I ‘ll share.

Gross Motor Skills

Ty amazes me. He has such determination and a strong will to conquer all obstacles. This week I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cry for him or clap for him. He wanted to go “side” outside so Tanner and I decided to walk 3 blocks to the park. For the first time I chose not to take the stroller. I wanted to see how far he could walk. The first block he didn’t do half bad but the second two were miserable. Ty still walks like a brand new walker. You know how when baby first starts taking steps you want to be standing right there to shield them from every inevitable fall? Ty falls A LOT! He is trying to walk faster now and he doesn’t have the ability too. I will attempt to describe this but I probably can’t. He seems to lean forward when he walks and push off with his toes. He isn’t a toe walker yet but I suspect he will be. He has actually worn holes in the toes of both his shoes already and he has only been walking since the end of September. Jim thinks these holes are from falling – I do not. I pay close attention to how he walks and his toes tend to touch the surface first often. As a result, he looks like he is in a constant state of tripping. The really amazing part is how little he falls! While he falls often, to watch him walk you would think he would trip every 3rd step and he doesn’t. In fact, he fell very few times on this 3 block hike but I was miserable watching him because he would take two steps and than catch a fall, take two steps and catch a fall over and over and over until he made me tired. After I couldn’t take it anymore and I figured this exercise HAD to be wearing him out I said “Ty can you please hold mamma’s hand?” He hid his hand from me and said very clearly “NO!”. He walked the rest of the way. I wanted to cry because I hate that it is hard for him but I was also incredibly proud. I hope I don’t ever let him see tears over these things. I want to be the mother that say’s “Ya it is harder for you than others – I get that. So what. Do it.” That is what is in Ty’s best interest. It looks like I may not ever have need to say that though because Ty already intrinsically knows this. God taught him. You never have to tell this kid “go” only “whoa”.

I asked his PT to take a walk with him outside this week so she could really see it. She tried to walk in front of him to slow him down so that he would concentrate on a more flat foot walk. Instead he put his little hands on her behind and just started pushing her for slowing him down. He cares not that he will fall. He simply wants to get there and if that means a somewhat painful journey – so what. He see’s the end result and he believes it to be worth it. This is causing parenting concerns for me (I’ll explain later), but good golly do I ever admire the trait.

His PT has told me for many months that while she isn’t seeing spasticity (CP), she does notice a lot of resistence in his feet. His neurologist noticed the same thing and wants me to see an orthopedic Dr. for a second look this month. The brain hemorrages on Ty’s right side are likely contributing to this but I am so thankful that the damage appears to be very mild still. He IS walking and that is awesome!!!! His PT believes this resistance is causing Ty to dig the toes down and thus gets off balance very very easy. Her theory seems likely to me.

Ty also cannot get to a stand yet. Requires way more balance than he actually has. We were at some friends house this weekend and he was doing a lot of crawling outside. My MIL noticed and asked if he prefers to crawl over walking. I pointed out that it wasn’t that he wanted to crawl, he simply had no where to get up. When he trips out in the wide open, he has to look around for some stationary object to pull himself up on and sometimes when you are outside it is a bit of a trip to find something. I don’t usually “help” him up because he doesn’t want help. I just go stand next to him and he uses my pant leg to get up and then he is off again. Grandma tried holding his hand as they walked down a steep incline and he told her “off!” – as in take your hand off me I can do it (and clearly he couldn’t by the way). Fiercely fiercely determined.

Talking

I am not going to add to the word list because I bet Ty has now surpassed 100 words. Can you believe that? I notice several new words EVERY day!!!! He is getting very responsive now too. He is good at answering questions with one word answers. He varies his reply too. Sometimes he answers with “Okay”, “Yes”, Uh huh”, I ready” “All wight” or a very clear “No!” He follows directions wonderfully too so I have no doubt his comprehension is great.

Last night he was learning the art of stalling. Jim reads Tanner a book every night but usually I put Ty in bed. Ty has realized he is getting jipped and will stand for it no more. I told him it was bed time last night and he said “Book!” and he went and picked one out. When I finished the book, we were walking down the hall and he said “Brush!” (brush teeth). Yes Ty we will brush your teeth. Then it was water. Then it was daddy.

His favorite words through the holiday season have been “marsh” (marshmellows), “candy”, “cookie”, “up-cake” for cupcake and my favorite “more pie”. He say’s that clear as day and he means it. Ty had cupcakes this weekend and he thinks they are the best in the world (they must be chocolate though). So guess what I will be making for his second birthday – which is NEXT TUESDAY by the way (17th) can you believe it???

Singing

Ty now attempts to sing the ABC’s but sings the same letters over and over. What amazes me is that I have actually heard him get the first 7 notes right and on pitch. This is rare but I have heard it. But his favorite song to sing is…..the Darth Vader theme!!!

I heard him singing “Dun dun dun dun” one day and I told Tanner that it sounded like the Darth Vader tune. Later Ty saw a poster in a window of Darth Vader and he said “Vader!” and then started singing the dun dun dun thing again. I couldn’t believe it! He learned it from Tanner’s piggy bank. Jim bought a Darth Vader piggy bank years ago to save for his kids (who were not even conceived yet…well technically Tanner might have been – he was on ice for 3 years and 4 months you know:). Anyhow, it has been in the attic all this time so for Christmas we gave it to Tanner. We should have given it to Ty because Ty goes into Tanner’s bedroom to push the button on it everyday. He will come get me and say “Push!” and then start singing Dun Dun Dun so I know what he is talking about. Sometimes he will even add a jedi using his light saber impersonation to his act just so I know exactly what he wants:). The really weird thing is that he was crying over his teddy bear that say’s “I love you Ty” but he isn’t afraid of Darth Vader. Go figure? That makes no sense. This toy does everything that Ty hates. He moves, he lights up, he sings….and Ty loves him. Very strange. He has even taken to marching to the song too. I’ll have to record this and post it on the web soon. Very funny.

He is now calling Tanner “danda” which is pretty cute and he repeats everything. I said I was mad the other day about something and Ty starts saying “I mad I mad”. I am going to have to really watch it now! He just doesn’t miss a beat. Speaking of that…one afternoon Ty asked me for marshmellows and I told him I didn’t have anymore and that I needed to buy some at Walmart. He kept asking and I kept repeating my answer. That evening we went to my Aunt’s and we didn’t leave until 11:00 PM. We needed to run into Walmart for something and when we pulled to the parking lot, Ty perks up and say’s “Marsh?” First of all, how in the world did he know we were at Walmart. It was dark and way past bedtime and we weren’t even out of the car. Second, how did he remember what I said all those hours earlier and connect the thought? He is only 20 months adjusted so I think that is pretty smart if I do say so myself;).

Burns

Ty’s hands have healed nicely from their burns but I did notice that when he passed my oven last week he blew on it:)

Children of Abraham

And now to get to the subject pressing on mamma’s heart today. Obedience. I have two very different children in this regard. Tanner obeys very well but not always with a happy heart. He doesn’t want to face the consequence so he’ll obey but he may grumble and complain a bit. Ty is happy all the time (unless he is angry) and he doesn’t give a rip about most consequences. This was the good news bad news thing I mentioned earlier.

I had a funny conversation with Ty’s birth great grandfather recently. Amanda’s grandparents were at our house having a mini Christmas with the kids. We love them so much and really enjoy it when we get to visit. Anyhow, we were talking about personalities and it was mentioned that heredity seems to play a bigger factor in children than environment. His bio great grandfather listed all the reasons for this belief and than I shared my very different perspective. I do believe heredity to be an important factor but I also believe environment is huge and even more importantly, I believe in God’s sovereignty, he knit my boys in the womb for me so he considered their personalities when he was fashioning their little personalities. While having this discussion though, I realized that I had just been given one of the best ace cards a parent could have. A fall back plan;)! At the end of my diatribe I said “with a smirk”: “Now, this is what I firmly believe today but I’ll tell you one thing you can take to the bank. If in 10 years, Ty ends up being an onery little cuss despite all my best efforts, than I am going to back peddle on this entire conversation and I will gladly let you take the blame for all his antics!” LOL!!!!! Isn’t that an absolutely flawless plan? :):):)

In all seriousness though, I really don’t know what Ty’s currency is. He evaluates consequence and a good percentage of the time he presses on anyway. Generally he isn’t downright defiant about it – he waits till I am not looking. He has a theory that if it isn’t seen it doesn’t count. He attempts a deer in the headlights look when caught but it isn’t all that convincing. His OT mentioned this issue to me and told me that sometimes when she is stern with Ty he laughs at her and occasionally will spit in defiance. Unforunately, I am getting the same resistance. I don’t want to paint a super onery picture of him – keep in mind that I have very high expecations for behavior – but I do admit up front he IS a challenge. He is really getting in trouble for that defiant spitting but there is something inside me that giggles when he does it because I feel like I am looking in a mirror. He only does on the outside what I want to do on the inside – he just has the guts to do it. I fear consequences much more than he. HOWEVER, as a child I was very similar to Ty in my determination. My mother profoundly prolonged my life by making darn sure that I understood what it meant to submit to authority. She was not about to be manipulated by little children and would not ever take no for an answer (and I did try it). She had one rule. She would always win. She did:) It took me a bit in my tiny years to become a believer – but by the age of 6 I was absolutely convinved that she would indeed go farther to win than I would. Thank you mom.

I have been thinking about this today because I am studying the life of Abraham. In Genesis Chapter 15, God credited with Abraham with righteousness. Do you know why? Because he believed and he obeyed. The two must work together. As a parent, I realize that one of the most important jobs I will ever have is teaching my children to respect authority. Here’s why – I have observed that people that do not know how to submit to authority are never happy. Rebellion does not pay. It leads to a life filled with unwanted but merited consequences and I do NOT want that for my babies.

If I don’t enforce boundaries with my children, I am teaching them that submission is optional. If they believe that they do not have to bend to authority, they will NEVER be able to glorifying God. If you don’t know how to submit, you cannot obey. If you cannot obey, you cannot please God. If you do not obey God, life’s consequences are incredibly painful. If you do not obey, you miss out on the most important relationship of your life – the relationship with the one who loves you the most – who fashioned you with his own hands and put his fingerprints of perfect love upon you. He is our shield, our comfort, our covering, our mercy. I want my children to be able to stand under the outpouring of God’s incredible eternal blessings. That doesn’t mean that the circumstances of their life will always be easy – God may have many trials for them. If they are faithful though, if they obey God through the pain of life – they will be richly rewarded and the King of Kings will one day say “Well done my good and faithful servant”. He will say “I count your faith in me as righteousness”. What more could I ever wish for? Nothing in life matters more to me than for my children to live a life pleasing to God. To honor him in everything they do and to know His love, inward, upward, forward, backward, in between, beside and upside down. For this reason, my studies are confirming to my heart that in order for them to become men of God – they have to understand how imporatant it is to submit to the authority of God.

When my brother David was little, he really knew how to push buttons (still does as a point of fact;). One such day he wanted to something outside that he did not have permission for. After he had again been reminded that he was “not allowed” he thought about it and then said “Okay but what will you do if I do it?” The little tyke was smart enought to attempt a negotiation. Thankfully, my mother quick on the uptake let him know that she was absolutely convinced that the consequence would far outweigh the temporal satisfaction of the defiance.

Noah is also a negotiator. I expect him to ask Daniel this question any day. In fact, I am convinced that Noah should grow up and be an international peace negotiator. He may stand half a chance because at 3 he is incredibly gifted at negotiations. Recently he was found crying in his bedroom saying “I want to be in charge! Not daddy!” LOL. That’ s my Noah!!! (I suppose this one example is not a good one for the art of negotiation – it smacks of pure authoratarian dictatorship LOL. He DOES know how to negotiate and set terms though:)

As parents, we have our work cut out for us but we CANNOT fail in this.

Someday, my precious little boy’s – you will read mommy’s journal. When you get to this part I hope you understand that my love for you is deeper than even I can comprehend. I will make you obey…because I love you with everything in me. I am willing to go farther than you are. I am willing to share in the consequences. Nothing you do – ever could do – would make me not love you. Nothing. God forgives all things. I want you to live at peace with God though and if you can’t obey me – you won’t obey Him. That would be the greatest tragedy of your life – to be separated from your Abba Daddy who invests everything in you. I want to do my best to help you see His fingerprints in your life and I pray you fall hopelessly in love with your Creator. I have learned that true FREEDOM can only be found in Christ. There is no hope in bondage and sin creates shame and chains. I want you to live life to the fullest and experience all of His beauty – I pray that you will become men that seek His heart always. I pray that your children and their children and their children, will follow in your footsteps. I pray your light will shine so bright that generations from now, our family will still stand firm on the foundation of Jesus.

God promised Abraham that his descendants would outnumber the stars in the sky and would be from every nation. Daddy and I were adopted into the line of Abraham and we stand under the blessing of that lineage. Your adoption is an incredible priveledge for your daddy and I. The adoption that will bless YOU the most though, would be the adoption into God’s family. May it always be the deepest pettition of my heart – that you my boy’s would know HIM well. Never forget for whom you were born. Him.