Warning – I am rating this posting PG-13 🙂
Last night I wrote this posting in my head while trying to fall asleep. My mind was drifting back to yesteryear. In order for my audience to understand my confession, a little background information is necessary.
When Jim and I were dating we made a decision to commit to abstinence in our relationship. Over the years people have asked us how we managed that. It was not easy! We had to spend a lot of time with family and protect our dating circumstances with boundaries that were workable for us. After we got engaged, the pressure of our committment weighed so much heavier. Our reasons for this decision were simple – God required it of us. Sexual purity is not a command easy to obey in the flesh but we knew it was important and determined to honor it. Truthfully, during that time in Jim’s life I think his commitmment was much more for my sake. He knew what it meant to me and wanted to honor and respect me. It wasn’t until after a Promise Keeper’s convention after we were married that he had a long talk with me about really understanding the spiritual reasons involved and wishing that his life before Christ would have been different. Because I had been a christian for much longer, I knew how damaging it would be to me personally, emotionally, and spiritually if we didn’t keep our commitment to one another and to Christ. In those pre-marriage days, that was one of the most significant gifts of honor and respect that Jim gave to me. His commitment to me in this area was a huge factor in building a trusting relationship between us.
So what is my point here? 🙂
When I was engaged I was working for Bank One. At that time I was an operational supervisor in their Call Center. One of my co-workers, Aurora was continually teasing me about what early married life would be like. She repeatedly told me that I would need a King size bed and that eventually I was going to be plenty excited for the rare nights when I got the bed to myself. I thought she was nuts. “Apparently she didn’t realize just how excited I was about sharing that bed. What kind of wife would ever want a bed to herself? I could probably handle a twin bed in fact if I was sharing it with my honey. Oh some people have it so hard…my poor friend wants her own bed. What a tragic state her marriage must be in” I thought.
When you are not sharing a bed there are a few things you don’t know about one self. First, how much do you really move around at night? Does your spouse’s arm leaning over you make you feel claustrophic? Do you really hate the feeling of someone else’s toes on your feet? I didn’t know the answers to these questions then. I didn’t know the questions existed.
So here I am 12 years later and I owe a big fat apology to Aurora. I couldn’t live without my King size bed! In fact, Jim and I both have determined that we really need a double King if such a thing exists :). He can’t believe that I need nearly half a football field to move around in at night and I can’t believe he insists on sleeping on MY side of the bed (which he will adamently deny but I swear I am going to use duck tape one night to prove my point 🙂 )!
Jim stayed up late with Tanner last night and I got to fall asleep right smack in the middle of our big King bed. When he came in he woke me up and I had to scoot over darn it. That is when I laid there thinking about Aurora. I guess she did know what she was talking about. I love my husband. I love sharing our bed, our kids, our life. But once in awhile, I do have to admit…I would love to roll over both directions and sprawl out anyway I like without running into someone else’s cold feet. Ah but such a small price to pay for all the other benefits;)…and I’ll just leave it at that.
18 responses to “Confessions”
i think jas can relate to you on this one MUCH more than i can. ha ha!
I started to feel bad reading this as many times I’ve thought that two twin beds might not be such a bad thing! LOL Glad the post ended as it did! We have a halfway marker (in the headboard) and he is ALWAYS over it! Stinker 😉
we have a lump in the middle of our mattress that serves as a makeshift divider. if either of us tried to sleep on it we’d get rolled back to our “own property” 🙂
Heidi, We have that lump too!!! Although I love to have the bed to myself I don’t use that much of it. We have a king size bed because I wanted it. My husband would probably love a full size bed and he keeps telling me he wants to switch our king size bed for the queen bed in the guest room, which was ours when we first got married, but we got the king 6 months later when I needed more space.
My husband was supposed to be gone twice this summer for 2 and 3 night stays, one this past weekend. The one in June was cancelled and this weekend since it was so close to our house he got to come home and sleep. I was so disappointed I wouldn’t have the bed to myself.
ha ha ha!
while i love our king size bed, i sometimes miss the closeness of the queen size. 🙂 my hubby, however, does NOT! he LIKES his space and has no problem telling me to stay on my own property! 🙂 nevermind that he’s burning up and has the house set on 65 degrees at night, meanwhile i’m freezing with extra blankets and a heated bag of corn on my side of the bed! he can’t stand any little bit of extra warmth and freezing me would love to snuggle to warm up…not gonna happen! ha ha!
Can’t handle a king sized bed. Dave and I would cuddle to sleep every night if possible:) I HATE sleeping in hotels in the king sized beds. Not a one of my friends agrees with me, though -they all agree with you girls:)
Heidi, we have the lump too. 🙂
When Mitch & I are on vacation, we ALWAYS get two full size beds. When I’m on vacation, I’m sleeping alone! It is a long standing tradition with us & if the hotel is out of full size beds, we book another hotel. 🙂
And don’t mention toes on people…I can’t stand toes on me – any toes – I’ll flip out right in front of whomever it is. Even the kids. 🙂
PS – someday I will have a California King. They are AWESOME!!!
HA HA HA!!! TOES TOES TOES! jas isn’t too crazy about toes on him either – lucky for him i wear footie jammies or thick socks… after all, it IS 65 DEGREES IN OUR HOUSE AT NIGHT!!!
(doni, don’t you love how we are stealing your post with our stories? ha ha ha!)
Actually Heidi I do:). I figured this posting was just edgy enough to spark this conversation:). Wish Aurora could read it – she would laugh her self silly that it took me twelve years to publically concede her point. LOL.
she WOULD love that. 🙂
This would have been a good post for the Grace Gals!
Poor Heidi, I cannot imagine keeping the house so cold. My hubby would like it at 75 all year long, way too cold in the summer and way too warm in the winter. I cannot even fathom what are electric bill would be if we kept it at 65 at night. We do turn the air down at night but not much. I like to have covers, but I don’t like to be cold in bed. And I hate being hot in bed, which is why I don’t like to cuddle. My poor husband we are total gender opposites when it comes to cuddling.
well… he can be wearing the minimum meanwhile i’m in footie jammies and a big warm sweatshirt. total opposites on this one! since we live in base housing we are fortunate enough to NOT being paying our electric bill right now though! i imagine we’d have to do a little rethinking if we did!
I would TOTALLY keep the house at 65 if I could! Tanner and Ty couldn’t tolerate it though. Ty refuses to have anything in his crib so it would be too hard to keep him warm. We keep it at 72 normally. When I was pregnant with Tanner, Jim kept the house at 62 for me:). I was sick…..soooooooo sick….that was the only thing he knew to do to help me. Everyone who came to visit froze and had to wrap up in blankets. I love to sleep when it’s cold. That’s why I like tent camping so much.
The MIDDLE is the place to BE!
not one of you mentioned kid’s in your bed….wait a minute, now…
it wasn’t that long ago that I had one across the foot of my king size bed and two………..well, one under me and one under his dad and NO ONE in the MIDDLE!
OH MY! poor jennifer. 🙂 oh wait… those are the sweet things in life. 😉
i’ve learned to sleep really well in the cold – snuggled up tight…. down comforte rwith a THICK fuzzy blankie under it (AND THE SWEATS AND FOOTIE JAMMIES).
imagine my concern when seth was an infant? he had a tshirt – footie jammies – AND a sleep sack as he got older… and the vent to his room only slightly opened. 🙂
alright – our a/c went out and it’s like 76degrees in our house… jas is VERY worried he won’t be able to sleep. 🙂 it’s 71 outside and supposed to get to 64 tonight. with the window open and a fan in the window he ought to survive – but he HATES how muggy it is… oh dear…. 😉