A few months ago I wrote a blog post called “Calling All Sympathetic Hearts”. In that post, I was venting about the trials of being a special needs parent. One of the contributing factors that I didn’t mention in that post was a phone call I had with the children’s leader at BSF.

BSF (Bible Study Fellowship International), is the weekly bible study that I participate in with over 300 women in Phoenix Sept – through May. They have a great kids program. In fact, I was in the BSF program as a child when we lived in California. Last year I took Tanner and he loved it but Ty wasn’t yet two so he stayed with Sweetie. When I registered my boys at the end of last semester I wrote a note on the register card that I wanted Ty in the young two’s class as oppossed to the older two’s. I figured I needed to explain his prematurity so they would understand why. It was easier to just have them call me because I had a few things I wanted to mention. During the summer the director called to discuss my note. I explained Ty’s situation. I learned a hard lesson that day. I gave too many details. As a result, I was told that BSF didn’t have programs available for special needs children. That was my first moment where I REALLY felt like a special needs mom. WHAT HAD I DONE? Did I just convince people to label my child and not accept him into their program? I was furious with myself and also miserable with grief. I explained over and over that yes Ty had higher risk factors for some things, yes he would need his own sippy cup because he couldn’t drink from their cups, yes he needed to be watched for choking and falling and that he is clumsy and can be inattentive BUT that I still felt he had a chance of pulling it off! They were hesitant. I started crying and begged. I literally begged them to give Ty a chance. They told me that they could not provide one on one care for Ty and asked if he would need it. At that point I didn’t know the answer. For the most part, I assumed no but I did wonder if he would be able to sit and participate in story time and other structured play without one on one attention.

Through tears I told the director that I would not forgive myself if Ty was not allowed in the program because I had stacked the odds against him. Maybe he would be fine! I pleaded with her to give Ty a trial and let TY tell us if he could do it or not – not me. She had to get approval from the regional director so she said she would call me back. When I got off the phone I was a mess. I called Aunt Becky and sobbed my heart out asking her if I did the wrong thing. Should I have never told them Ty was a preemie? Should I have waited to see how he did and if he struggled than explain? On the other hand, if they didn’t have a heads up, would they think he was just onery if he had trouble paying attention? What if he fell, would he hold his breath go blue and scare them to death? What about the sippy cup issue? They drink out of regular cups without lids…I didn’t want Ty doing that when I wasn’t there because of the aspiration risk. After our talk, I realized that I DID have to tell them something for Ty’s safety but still should I have said a lot less than I did?

When the director called back she told me that they had agreed to give Ty a 4 week trial and see how he does. So my point in this blog is to tell you that BSF starts tomorrow and I am so nervous and excited for Ty. Please please pray for him. It will break my heart if he can’t keep up with the other kids and they ask me to remove him. At this moment, I have a lot of hope for him. I really think there is a very good chance he will acclimate to this and pull it off. I also think that Ty is such a loving and personable little guy that he is bound to cause everyone to fall in love with him and even if he is higher maintenance, I think it will be difficult for anyone to WANT to remove him. How could you not love Ty? He may require extra work but he gives 10 fold the love. Anyone working with Ty benefits and I am not just saying that because I am his mother – I am telling the truth straight up.

Would you pray with me that Ty can rise above the challenges and pass his 4 week trial? I’ll update you tomorrow on how it goes. I think I ‘ll be a nervous wreck!