This week Brooke accused me of trying to kill her off.?? Death by poisoning to be exact.?? Little sisters have a way of exploiting situations??to their advantage so I figured I should submit my defense early.?? I do have a defense.?? It’s a good one.?? It was just a series of unfortunate events…simple as that.

I am a comforter eater.????This week I was in need of comfort food but I am low carb dieting…sigh…again.?? (And yes??we have a??forum on??Grace for Weight Loss and I refuse to even open it).

The day after Alex’s accident, my MIL, Aubrey and Avi were at my house – just all needed to be together.????We were sitting around the table and I was??wishing for some munchies.?? I am not usually a snack person so this is rare.?? On Valentines Day, feeling sorry for myself, I bought 3 whole bags of Russel Stovers Sugar Free Candies (all chocolate of course).????Turns out they were awesome!?? Unfortunately, a good diet candy has all the same risk of bulk sale shopping.?? True you may??have the initial sense of reward and gratification??but there is still such thing as “too much”.?? My grandmother never could understand that it wasn’t really a bargain to purchase the shirts on sale for 5 bucks if you were going to buy 30 of them.????Immediate cash flow still has to be??considered irregardless of the long term investment 🙂 .????Jim may disagree with that??statement.?? He would have loved my grandmother.

I have some eating habits that need to be changed but I am not a binge eater.?? Eating way too many sweets is not my normal vice.?? This particular day??though I was caught up in the moment and since the dang things were practically labeled “guilt free”…I just kept on keeping on.?? I think I ate about 7 by day’s end.?? (They were only bite size and one portion was 5…still though 7 would be a lot for me).

I did notice the “laxative effect”??warning label but equated it to the??warning on diet coke cans -??has shown to cause cancer in laboratory animals.?? How often do I pay attention to that warning?

By evening I was in agony.?? My stomach hurt so??bad.?? The cramping was terrible and I was starting to hyperventilate.?? It took hours to find the right medicine to help.????Russel Stovers uses sugar alcohol as their substitute and obviously – I just need to stay completely unleaded all the way around.

The next??day Brooke came to visit.?? She needed a snack and I didn’t have anything for her that had real sugar in it.?? So I said, and pay attention to this statement because I may have to defend this in court, “Brooke I do have some sugar free candy that is awesome.?? In fact, it is so good you can’t tell it’s sugar free.?? If you like it you can have it.?? I think I might be allergic to it because I ate about 7 pieces yesterday and I got really sick.”

Here is where I went wrong.?? Before she had her first bite, I should have made her sign a waiver releasing me of all responsiblity.????Lesson learned.

She had exactly 2 point 5 candies.?? About an hour later she was accusing me of calculated and premeditated abuse.?? When??Jodi and Aimee came in shortly thereafter, she threw me right under the bus and warned them not to accept any gifts from me without a personal taste tester who was??dispensible.?? I offered her medicine and she wouldn’t even take that till she approved it through Daniel.?? Years I have invested in her.?? Years I tell??you and??all the work of trust building collapsed??with a single mishap.?? Such a shame.

My favorite??diet chocolate bars??are Pure Delight.?? Since??low carbing is out of fad,??you can’t find them.?? They had maltitol and never bothered me a bit.?? I have been mourning those few hours of guilt free chocolate so I went back to the health store today determined to buy back my pleasures.????The clerk told me about a certain bar that tasted like??Girl Scout Chocolate Mints.?? That was just the bait he needed.?? Jim??had the nerve to bring??home 3 boxes of Girl Scout cookies this week and I wanted to hurt him.?? He was so excited though because he thought ahead and bought me sugar free Girl Scout brownie bites.?? They were hard as a rock AND still had 5 carbs PER small bite.?? Sugar Free doesn’t mean carb free.?? This was such a disappointment that when the clerk??made the Girl Scout comparison AND I saw they had maltitol, I bought the whole box.?? (Don’t tell Jim!)?? I got a little OCD about it -??I have NEEDED chocolate this week and one can only stand this kind of depravation for so long without the risk of being committed.?? Just had to be done.?? I KNOW Heidi will have my back on this point.

I got up too late to eat breakfast this morning.?? At lunch I had a small…very small taco??salad from??Del??Taco.?? By 4:00 I was starving.?? I took the boys to the mall and bought them chocolate cookies – which I only had a BITE of and now I NEEDED a snack.?? That’s when I ate one of the above mentioned bars.?? It wasn’t awesome but it was pretty good.?? Very filling.?? By 7:00 I was still satisfied.?? I finally ate about half a salad for dinner.?? Then my ulcer pain started.?? Was it the chocolate bar??? Was it the low carb coffee drink I also bought??? Was it not eating enough until it was late??? Whatever it was…I was??in a world of pain again.????

When I??got home tonight at 11:00, I was hurting so bad I was hunched over.????Tanner, being just like his daddy, ever watchful and quite nurturing, say’s the following:

Tanner – Mommy what’s wrong??? Does your tummy hurt?

Doni – Ya

Tanner – Did you eat too much?

Doni – No (can’t say I appreciated that question a whole lot)

Tanner – OH!?? I know.????Too much diet stuff.

You??know the phrase “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result”?????I think that was Tanner’s point.?? Hmmmmph.

Earlier I also had a raging headache and took two Excedrin Migraines.?? After that I remembered that the caffeine keeps me awake.?? Then I took Alka Seltzer for my stomach.?? Now it’s midnight and I am still hurting but can’t sleep.?? Do I get the stupid award for the day??? Don’t answer that.?? Hearing it from my??5 year old was??punishment enough.??

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