Been waiting for me to complain??? LOL.?? I love home schooling – I do I do I do….BUT sometimes it is HARD WORK!?? The pressure is on now that we have entered the new year.?? I am not half way through by any means since I am schooling year round, but I have found lots of areas where I wish I would have done things differently.?? Poor Tanner!?? I am experimenting on him.?? Ty will have it easier anyway.?? While it really has been a joy and I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything, following are some of my frustrations:
(1) In the first grade, reading, writing, and arithmetic are your majors.?? I wish I would remember this EVERY day.?? There seems so much to get done that sometimes I want to scrap it all and concentrate on just these three.?? I am really trying to make them my main focus but “stuff” just comes up.
(2) I don’t necessarily regret that I didn’t do a package curriculum BUT I do think it would have been the MUCH easier route.?? The problem with guiding Tanner’s education without packaged curriculum is it gets difficult to ascertain where he “should” be in the various subjects.
(3) I am doing unit studies for history and science but have had to learn the hard way that in the first grade, learning to read and write around these units is not really what is best for Tanner.?? When he is older, I think it will be but right now it’s too hard to have a simple writing assignment around “The Tabernacle of Ancient Israel”.?? Every day it gets hard to simplify these topics for the sake of creating a reading/writing exercise around them.?? I have had to break out the writing portion from the unit exercise but I don’t have curriculum for that (nor do I want it).?? That means I have to guide that with my imagination and it’s hard to figure out what Tanner should be capable of right now.?? I am now really summarizing the history or science lesson and not requiring much (if any) exercise time on it other than an experiment here and there or a craft.?? He is still learning interesting historical/scientific facts but I have just realized that he needs to spell three and four letter words well before he has to write about “tabernacles” :).?? His writing skills at this point are mainly three letter words and some four. Example:?? The pig sat on the cat and the dog ran.
(4) Because Tanner is great at memorization, I fear his reading is very sight dependent.?? His phonic skills need work!?? I have been using Explode the Code and I really like it but feel we should be farther in phonics than Tanner is.?? He does the workbook really well but it doesn’t seem to be meshing with our reading exercises yet.?? When he has to spell something he gets himself so confused trying to figure out what letter sound he is on.?? This makes me wish I would have done blend flashcards much earlier on.?? I want him to a have a firm handle on phonics and he would rather learn the word than sound it out.?? I am trying to get him to sound out the words he struggles with.?? He tends to forget the rules easily and then gets frustrated.??
(5)?? Somewhere along the line he started forgetting letter names because (due to phonics), he refers to everything by sound!???? Last night I about went crazy trying to get him to repeat back first the letter name than the sound.?? He does KNOW the letter names but under pressure, he forgets.?? When I am teaching him spelling, I need him to say letter names because sometimes the sound he hears is not how it is spelled.
(6)?? Speaking of spelling, I read that spelling comes through the natural process of writing.?? I believed that and decided not to have spelling tests early on.?? I regret this choice.?? I do agree that when Tanner is a better writer, spelling will just be part of the writing process and we can keep a spelling notebook.?? The point that I overlooked though was this…you can’t write if you can’t spell.?? If he doesn’t have weekly practice on word lists, he is very limited in what he wants to write.?? He has been writing sentences every week so it isn’t that he hasn’t been required to spell but the “learn it by doing method” isn’t working out well.?? Spelling has become a stumbling block.?? I didn’t choose a spelling curriculum so this week I had to decide what to do.?? I finally decided to take the 220 word Dolch list along with the 95 noun Dolch list (most used words in English) and divide them into lists of 10 words plus 3 bonus words for every week through the remainder of school.?? I am kicking myself because if I would have started in Sept he would have only had to spell 8 a week!?? Again….poor Tanner.?? Today we had our first spelling work and he could spell on his own 7 of the 13 words and got the letters correct in most of the remaining six but ordered them wrong.?? Not too bad I guess.?? We’ll see how he does by Friday after practice.?? And there is the question of whether or not this 300 odd list is appropriate for a first grader??? I don’t know but it made sense to me.?? (This week’s word list that I chose trying to keep simple words for week one are:?? I, a, the, you, he, bell, ball, box, boy, bird, and three more that I am forgetting right now).
(7)?? Math – overall math has been uneventful.?? He doesn’t have his addition and subtraction through 10 memorized but he is pretty good at counting up and down and we haven’t really struggled too much so I haven’t concerned myself with it.?? I am liking Singapore math but because there is NO drill and kill exercises in it, they don’t have the chance to get math facts down which means I should have concentrated on flash cards more than I have.?? I am having Tanner memorize so much right now though I hate to add another thing.?? As a result, I added a supplemental math curriculum today that teaches math “tricks”.?? He likes tips (like hungry bug 9) and catches on to them well.?? If we learn a trick for each number set, memorizing should be easier.?? I am just afraid that even though he is doing fine now, Singapore may jump up a notch and require a more firm foundation in these facts than he actually has so I now realize I better get ahead of it.
(8)?? Pressure/Discouragement – I seriously can’t take Tanner’s pressure issues.?? The second he is afraid he can’t do something or he gets anything wrong, he starts whimpering or banging his head or giving me the “I can’t do it” speech…and then all of the sudden – he CAN’T!?? Things he has known all along suddenly fly out of his head and he can’t answer the most basic of questions.?? I am praying for patience in this area but it makes me C??R A Z Y when he gives up over one silly error and then won’t try!!!!!!???? I don’t even know what to do with him when he does this.?? I end up getting angry which makes him more upset and unfocused.?? It becomes a vicious cycle.?? I am trying to just “time us out” when this happens.?? This is probably my biggest battle with teaching.?? Working my way around our combined personality types.??
(9)?? How much is too much or too little??? Tanner and I school for 2 and a half to 3 hours a day.?? Sometimes I feel we need more time but since these hours are all DIRECT instruction – I am with him 90% of the time, I don’t see how either of us could manage more than that without a serious brain drain at the moment.?? Breaking it up isn’t an option because I would get NOTHING done that way.?? And WOW has homeschooling impacted my day!!!!!!?? I have to be super organized to get everything in “life” done.?? None of us are early risers so we don’t start school until 10:00 or 11:00 and that doesn’t help matters but our schedule is not likely to change anytime soon so it is what it is.
I am keeping record of this so that when I start Ty in the First Grade and get frustrated, I can read back and not feel so crazy realizing I have been through this before :).
After all this griping…. here is what is going good!
(1)?? I love the time with Tanner everyday.
(2)?? I love Bible time and am so glad I get to teach my child scripture this way each day.
(3)?? Tanner is doing great on his memory verses and memorizing the Westminster Shorter Catechism!
(4)?? Even though he needs to improve his PHONETIC reading skills, I think he is reading pretty decently for early first grade.?? And better yet – HE LIKES IT!??
I am just praying that I will have wisdom and will get him through this year WELL.?? His failures are really mama’s failures and I don’t want to let him down or make him do things the hard way because I was stupid.?? Hopefully this will all come together.
19 responses to “Home School Blues”
Doni,
Relax my dear and pat yourself on the back! You are doing a great job!
As a parent, I am jealous of what home-schooling parents are getting…TIME with the ones they love most.
As a teacher, I don’t know how parents can home-school their own children.
I can educate and disciline 25 children all day without a problem. I come home and do homework with my 3 children and I struggle keeping myself calm….mainly because we all are frustrated a little quicker with those that we love the most and we are not afraid to share our emotions with them. Not sure why this is true. I can feel the same coming from you and Tanner.
Please do not stress over the memorizing. It will come. I have so much to offer you with my experience being a first grade teacher for 8 years and a kindergarten/developmental kindergarten teacher for 10 years…but not sure if you want it or need it. I will tell you that 2 1/2 hours a day is plenty of instruction especially as I know you incorporate learning in all of his experiences throughout his days.
Keep up the good work!
It would be nice if I could type the above without missing letters in words:
disciline should be “discipline”
sorry
I’M SO GLAD YOU WROTE THIS! I’m going to be asking questions more specifically as I get closer to starting things.
By the way – don’t you think that the Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons is the reasons he sees ‘phonics’ instead of letters? I read most of the intro and it seems to REALLY focus on that idea – that you teach the child the sounds more than the letters… could be. Maybe a down side to that format? You have to get over that curve once they start writing more?
Much to consider here – thanks for being willing to publicize it!
Wow! I am so glad I am not home schooling. I could never do it. I really am amazed by all of you that home school your kids.
With that said I will not make matters worse by telling what the twins are doing in Kindergarten. But you can check out my blog if you really want to know. I am on my way to write a post about their parent/teacher conferences this week.
Carrie – oh please please please help!!!!! I have some questions that I will email you if you don’t mind. Just this afternoon I was trying to remember if I knew any 1st grade teachers that I could get a “reality check” with! Thank you so much for offering! I WILL take you up on it.
Heidi – Yes that is exactly what and why it happened. Something to be aware of for later.
Sarah – The twins are amazing. What were they spelling on the fridge before Tanner even knew his letters? LOL! Though they have their struggles, they also have great gifts! I am excited for all they are learning and how smart they are. Who knows what they will wow us with in the future? I am amazed by them all the time. (And I do read your blog by the way LOL).
OH DONI,my heart goes out to you. I nodded my head the whole time while reading your post. I’ve written most of that many times in emails to friends and can totally relate. There definately isn’t enough hours in the day and I’m not where I should be either. This is my 3rd year homeschooling and I still don’t have a clue and daily say “I wish I would have…..” If I were to teach Laini the 2nd grade every year I would master the teachings,but because every year is totally new I start out like I’m homeschooling for the first time. Then alot of “I should haves..” come into play again. Jonah takes 2-3 hours to homeschool,but Laini takes 4+. That’s 7 hours,not to mention adding errands,life,cleaning the house. Those are pretty much out the door most days. I take one day at a time. Live and learn,make your lists so that Ty (and you) WILL have it easier. I don’t know how many days you teach history and science but the cirriculum I’m using says to only do each 2x a week,no more (Laini is 3x a week) For me it works out alot better than I planned because each day it’s a different kid. Sometimes I don’t have the energy so we’ll do some work/make up work in Saturday. Saturday just seems less stressful 🙂 Hubby can then help out of need be. Your not alone!!!!! One thing I’m struggling with is that I’m so consumed during the day with schooling, I feel like Olivia’s getting left out.
Definately praying for you!!!
Thank you Kristy! I am definitely needing to cry on the shoulders of other home school moms right now. And your right, the terrifying thing is, even if I do miraculously figure out the first grade, I’ll be starting over next year with second! Aaaahhh!!!! I told my mom today that I wonder if teaching 1st through 3rd is harder than teaching the upper grades because you are teaching them ALL of their building blocks of learning.
Teaching math facts (addition/subtraction/multiplication/division) and teaching reading and writings is NO SMALL TASK!!!! If I had a reader/writer to work with, there would be so much more independant work but in the first grade they need you for nearly everything. (And a question for Carrie – I don’t know how school teachers do it because 1st graders need so much individual attention). I am hoping (though this may be naive) that unit studies will keep me from having to teach two grades seperately. If I end up with a 7 hour day Kristy I think I might die! But the needs of Tanner in 3rd grade with Ty in K-garten will be totally different so I may be up the creek awhile. Then I’ll do it again with baby number 3:). Was this too much spacing or will it work in my favor? LOL.
But, imagine how smart I will be if I home school all my children 13 years each:). It will be like me getting my entire education several times over (hopefully 4 times maybe 5 LOL).
I am confident in my choice to do this and I believe God will see us through this but man oh man….some days I seriously question my sanity.
PLEASE DO SHARE SOME OF CARRIE’S ADVICE IF SHE’S WILLING TO SHARE…. AND CARRIE – THINK PRESCHOOL TOO! I HAVE A 4 (5 IN APRIL) YEAR OLD! 🙂
(wonder if you’re going to have to start a forum just for us! ha! no no no – i already no the answer! NO TIME FOR THAT! ;0 )
After reading this back this morning, I wonder if I was emotionally on over kill yesterday? I DO need your help Carrie in figuring out what my first grade reading/writing/handwriting/spelling end goal is but I do think our little “system” is working. I am just panicked worrying about what I don’t know.
Also, as far as the reading goes, what I failed to mention is that the phonics program we are using is simply behind the level of books I am asking Tanner to read and that is why I am frustrated. I love the phonics program and think it will give him a good base but I am asking harder words of him than we have covered in phonics. I have to in order to keep his interest up. He would be bored silly with primers that are too simple. He likes “Danny and the Dinosaur”, “Captain Cat”, “Green Eggs and Ham”, “Thunderhoof”. Captain Cat yesterday had words like “soldier” and “sergeant” and he just has to memorize all that. Even “ing” and “ight” and “oy” – all those he has to know to read these books but Explode the Code doesn’t move that fast. We will be there by the end of the year – just unbalanced in our workbooks versus our reading. This is why he can read more advanced than he can actually write. He can figure words out and is better at whole language but that doesn’t help with spelling. So that is a better summary of the problem. Have kids crawling on me now – literally. See ya.
Doni I totally hear you. I have a couple of friends who put their kids in school until 2nd or 3rd grade..THEN homeschool from there on up. You wouldn’t think it would be that difficult to teach the basic building blocks,but BOY YOU ARE SURE RIGHT,IT IS VERY DIFFICULT and can drive you batty!!!! Teaching the different endings to words and the words there,their,they’re. Too,to,two,
oy & oi. On thing I have this year that I haven’t had with previous years is the sight word flashcards. This has helped SOOOO Much with her spelling and reading!! She memorizes the words,then we use those for spellling words. We have a stack she knows and a stack we work on a little longer. This has been a HUGE help.
Sometimes the lesson may take a tiny bit longer than planned,but for the most part that 7 hours a day for both,is normal. OY! Somedays I want to quit 🙂 HA! Unfortunately I think the lessons get longer the older they get. Yep..then there’s olivia to add in 1 1/2 yrs. YIKES! I have found that when my house is clean I’m less frazzled when schooling. Today’s a frazzled day. Problem is..finding time to clean 🙂
“I told my mom today that I wonder if teaching 1st through 3rd is harder than teaching the upper grades because you are teaching them ALL of their building blocks of learning”
I can completely understand how that could be true! I have said over and over again the older Eric gets the less afraid I am to homeschool if that is where we are led. I would love to have that time with the little guys boys and Jordan. When he gets home I wonder about what that will look like, what the answer to that question will be. I feel for you, I’m sure it is mind numbing some days to think of all it could entail. I’m sure you are doing GREAT and truth be told there is always a wee bit of envy for homeschooling mom’s. Would love the time with my kids. I guess I get some of those needs filled with the 70+ preschoolers I see all week long 🙂 I could totally hear Carrie, all day long I instruct and teach ABC’s and 123’s but getting Sam to learn to read this year is a bit more challenging that I thought it would be. I decided that holding him a year was great and we have no regrets but he really wants to read so we’re working on it. Anyway I’m rambling….. I’m glad you shared the struggles… makes my envy a little less 😉
After re-reading my comment I can sure tell I’ve been with those preschoolers all week! Yikes, my grammar leaves much to be desired 😀
OK – I’m not even going to go there with you today, probably not tomorrow or maybe not anytime in the near future!!!! The life of a parent is HARD, Hard, hard but very precious and dear. Today I will suffice it to say, if I teach Jenna all things that will make her a world renowned schoalar and accolades from her peers – I could personally care less. However, as I see Jenna’s heart being tender towards the Lord and “listen” in on her prayers when she says, “Mom, it’s my turn to pray” and then she brings me to tears by her sweet mutterings to the Lord, then I feel that I am succeeding. At least today, away from home, from a hospital bed with a box of “school books.” My daughter is bringing me joy just be being with me. My hearing her heart, watching her joy in figuring something out, loving her today and everyday and wishing that I could go back and do the same with her big brother and sister!!!! So for today, I am content.
Tee! Hee! Look at my spelling on scholar!!!!! Oh well!
I am laughing at these comments tonight as I can so relate to what you all are feeling. As a teacher, I have the frustrations as you do with being a parent that home-schools. The feelings are the same, but different at the same time. What works one year with one group of students, will not work the next year. What brings success for one child, will not work for another. What brings frustration to one child brings happiness to another. Therefore, feeling frustrated teaching a child will happen as what works for one family, one child, one classroom ???.may not work for another. Relax, Moms ?! You are doing a great job! The best thing you can do for learning how to teach a child is to ???talk with others??? , educate yourself, and ???listen to the child???.
It is sooooo important to LISTEN to the child. If a child is showing frustration, step back and see what can change. It may be as simple as changing that subject to a different time in the day. It may be after a snack or to be the first instruction of the day. Be FLEXIBLE! Flexibility is so key to being a teacher (and a parent for that fact). The best lesson will not be successful if the child is feeling pushed to accomplish ???our goal???.
Students in the early grades usually read more advanced items than their own personal writings. This is very normal!
Teaching ???the building blocks??? is no small task, but it is so much fun to see the progress of these kiddos. In these few short years, you will see the most growth in a child! Yes, I love it!
As a teacher, I put in many hours into finding and creating the best units, best lessons, and etc. which will be taught to many children (sometimes many years to come). Then, you, as a home-schooling parent, do all the same work for one or two children. This just amazes me to no end! I know it is for the best children in the world???your OWN!! But I give you all so much credit! You are angels!
Aunt Beck- I had a mentor mom at church tell me exactly what you posted about seeing Jenna’s heart loving the Lord. I couldn’t agree with you more!!! Thank you for the reminder.
Carrie- This is my first year homeschooling 2 kids. I had to spend about a month+ trying to figure out a schedule that would work for the kids. I have found that Jonah (the easy one) had to school FIRST thing in the morning or it’s really really rough on him towards lunch/afternoon.
Morning time brings out the best in him. We also HAVE to start with Math. He loves Math and LOVES to start with math. If we don’t it seems like we’re off track or something. I find it funny,but it works great and we’re not changing! Laini is NOT a morning person. I think we have a great schedule now 🙂
My rss feed messed up and quit feeding all but one of my subscriptions! Argh! So, I missed this one altogether.
Sounds like everyone has given great advice! It also sounds like your 1st grader will be miles ahead of mine in some ways. You are teaching him in a way that I expect we will be teaching Clarisse as a 2nd grader next year. Clarisse is currently reading great phonetically and in turn can write anything phonetically. The teacher that oversees me told me that I didn’t need to worry about her spelling skills yet. I can read what she writes if I sound them out. It is actually funny! She wrote a card to a friend and looking at it, it looked like gobblygook. But it turns out her friend 1st grader friend read it out to her mom perfectly becuase she sounded it out phonetically. So, you are working a lot harder on actual spelling words that we just aren’t yet. The curriculum I am using hasn’t pushed it. We do testing each week on spelling, but don’t aim at all for perfect spelling. So if it isn’t spelled perfectly, it seems to be okay too and I was told not to over correct her on it. Clarisse hasn’t bored too much with the books that she has been reading that are at her grade level. In fact she is more frustrated when she picks up a book that she can’t read yet and would rather read on that she can really succeed at. We also do the sight words like Kristy and Clarisse has learned all her site words for the year already. She may not be able to spell them all if asked, but she could try phonectically. Which isn’t quite as easy, since the reason they are her sight words to practice since they don’t phonectically make sense. We are still working on them.
See, if I caught on correctly, your Tanner is more of a perfectionist when it comes to some things. Clarisse, isn’t bothered by that and so it makes teaching her quite a bit easier and we don’t spend more than 2 hours a day at this point teaching and she is moving along well. BUT, Duncan, my next year Kindergartener is a perfectionist when it comes to drawing or trying to write. He will get mad and crumple up his work and start over. Many a time he has come home with nothing at church because he got frustrated and threw it away. I dread teaching him in some ways because he will be the opposite of Clarisse. I praise the Lord though that in spite of my kids being 1 1/2 year apart in age, that they are 2 full years apart in school and it gave me a few years of practice before adding my next student. It indeed shall be intersting next year when I have both kiddos to teach!
My best success with Clarisse has been block teaching though. One day we do phonics all day, then math all day, then history all day, then LA’s all day, then sometimes Art all day. She has really done best since we started that. Some days it only takes an hour and then others 3, but it all balances out. I do love that all the kids learn a little differently and we as homeschoolers have it within our grasp to accomodate our kids so they can succeed with less frustration.
Carrie, that must be the hardest part in teaching a room full of different kids with different personalilites and different learning styles. How do you do it?
I have been surprised at Clarisse’s ability with Language Arts and her understanding of the language. Not becuase she knows what a predicate is or a verb, but because she knows how our sentences are supposed to sound like. What someone told me that it wasn’t important for her to understand every little thing at this age, becuase each year we will be reviewing the sames lessons so she will get it the next year if she doesn’t fully get it this year. It helps me have a little freedom. I remember even in 9th grade English being introduced to these same lessons as Clarisse is learning now. Crazy stuff!!!
Hi Doni –
I haven’t read up since late last year (I was a dedicated reader since TY’s arrival). I am so glad I caught up today. Congratulations on your new addition and on your decision to homeschool. My DD is 9 now and the little man is 4 (he was the preemie that initially led me to your site). My DD went to public school up to the end of 2nd grade when I finally couldn’t stand having them away (he was in day care) and I left my job to homeschool them. It is extremely hard at times, and like you, my DD has been ‘my experiment’. At times I don’t know if I am doing enough, others if I am doing too much. We have tried many math routes, many teaching methods, many planned reading lists, etc….When I think back to what I was missing having them in school, the hard days (or doubtful days), are totally washed out.
I always love to refer to this video:
http://raisingsmallsouls.com/wp-content/themes/179/aschool012008.html
I try to focus on the three R’s and do spot checks against the Core Curriculum books for the science and history…to at least ‘discuss’ main topics there if we haven’t encountered them. I do a lot of planning forms, lists, etc and end up discarding them all after a few weeks of use…but I try and try again….I think this is for my own sanity really as it lets me find any gaps I may be missing.
Congrats again – I am really happy to read how things have evolved for your family. Hang in there with the homeschooling, its worth it.
D.