I feel way past due for a Mama’s Diary catch up and in this busy Fall season I doubt I will do this justice but I wanted to get stuff down before anymore time gets away from me (as it is always apt to do this time of year).

 

My man and me…

We celebrated 19 years on Sept 16th. ?? A lot of life has been lived in the two decades we have been together and I am so grateful that God chose him for me. ??It’s been quite a ride – a wonderful ride. ??Nothing out of the ordinary is happening between us but boy do we find ourselves plate spinning. ??The older the kids get, the crazier the schedule. ??Jim is now a soccer dad and I am an archery mom and we are constantly comparing schedules trying to figure out how to make everything work. ??But it’s a fun life and I am not complaining. ??(Just a little dizzy). ?? ??The Fall season is always a mad rush for portrait photographers so that is keeping me well occupied too. ?? I walked into this eyes wide open but wonder if toothpicks will be holding them open by the end of the season. ??We shall see. ?? All is good though…(but for any client waiting on pictures from me, please forgive this blog post that I am writing during “Doni” time instead of processing – I needed a sanity break).

First Day of School

We started school back after Labor Day like normal. ?? ??Our tradition is to go out for Baskin Robbins on the first day of school (because German Chocolate Cake Ice Cream is out in September and that is my very favorite). ??This year, it had rained so much that the local community park was completely flooded so we decided that we needed to go for a swim. ?? None of those trendy “I am a Kindergartner” chalk board pictures for us. ??In fact, we were all quite slummy on our first day of school. ??More pictures to come (whenever I get around to processing them).

This year our school curriculum looks like this:

Tanner – 7th Grade

Bible – Project 51
Math – Teaching Textbooks Grade 8
Science – Apologia General Science
History – The History of the Ancient World by Susan Wise Bauer
Handwriting – Daily practice
Spelling – HomeSpellingWords.com
Geography – Geosafari – US and Capitals and Eastern/Western Hemisphere Review + Asia and Europe and physical features
Typing – Typing Instructor – goal of 50 wpm by end of year
Grammar – Daily Paragraphy correcting and Daily Grammar
Writing – Institute of Excellence in Writing Co-op – US History Source Text

Ty – 4th Grade

Bible – Ergemeir’s Bible for Children and Questions
Math – Teaching Textbooks Grade 5
Science – Christian Liberty Nature Reader Book 5
History – Story of the World Volume 2 Middle Ages
Spelling – HomeSpellingWords.com
Geography – Geosafari – US and US Capitals
Typing – Typing Instructor
Grammar – Daily Paragraph
Reading – 30 minutes daily

 

Tori – Kindergarten

Reading – How to Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons and then subsequent daily books
Writing – Handwriting without Tears
Bible – devotions with mom
Math – Saxon Grade 1 with flashcards

 

TANNER

Tanner is pretty busy this season with soccer, 7th grade school requirements, and his writing co-op. ?? I am so glad I put him in a writing co-op because a little bit of healthy competition can be a great thing. ??Giving him some social connection time, a teacher other than mom, and the challenges of someone else setting expectations. ??He is doing great with it. ?? ??He started out the year in archery as well but it was conflicting with soccer so he had to make a choice on that one. ?? But I did get a giggle out of one thing…

Tanner: ??Mom those exercises at archery totally didn’t work.

Me: ??Why not?

Tanner: ??My legs are really hurting!

 

TY

We decided upon archery this season because it seemed a good choice for Ty. ??He has trouble with fine and gross motor skills so it is a challenge for sure but maybe less of a challenge than other sports would be as he is able to stand in one spot to do it. ??Either way, he loves it and I have loved giving him the opportunity to be on a team. ??His coaches are great with him and I have really appreciated that. ?? I have been reading a book by John Elder Robison who is himself, an Aspie. ??I have really enjoyed his perspective on being an Aspie and have learned a lot by listening to the heart of an adult who has it. ??I have highlighted so many things in his book that resonate. ?? I don’t have the brain space to write it all out right now. ??Wish I did. ??Good stuff.

Ty: ??Mommy let me see your smile.

Me: ??Ty I just don’t have a smile inside me tonight.

Ty: Let me see if I can make you smile.

He then gives me about 7 quick and light kisses on the mouth, pulls back his face and gives me the biggest grin you ever saw. ??I smiled. ??Who could help it?

Ty: ??There it is!!!! ?? (Then he sits on the couch and looks back over at me)

Ty: ??Let me see it ONE more time.

I laughed. ??My boy found my smile. ??I sat there thinking about what an incredible treasure we have in him. ?? Later I heard him saying to his Dad, “Show me your happy face. ??Now your mad face. ??Now your scared face. ??Now your sad face.” ??It’s interesting to me that he invests the time to do this. ??John Robison states that people often see people with autism as being very self focused and he thinks that is a wrong (or at least unfair) assesment. ??It isn’t that they are intentionally NOT others focused, it is that they lack the tools to be “others aware”. ??In adulthood, John learned to study those around him to understand what their expressions meant on THEIR faces. ??At 9, Ty already realizes the need to do this even if it happens on a subconsious level. I find this to be way MORE others focused. ??He goes way out of his way to TRY to understand us when what is obvious to everyone else is not obvious to him. ??That much effort equals a very loving heart – not a selfish heart. ??I agree with John totally on that.

Recently, Ty and I were talking about the concept of embarrassment. ??I didn’t realize going into the conversation how challenging that would be with an Aspie. ??The discussion started because he had kissed one of his cousins (Ty is super affectionate) and I was trying to explain to him that kissing cousins is not appropriate. ??It’s all very simple to him. ??He loves them. ??He is expressing that. ??I used the opportunity to try to get him to consider how someone else feels, thus the reason why me trying to explain embarassment. ??He had no concept. ??Later in the car I asked him if knew what “shame” felt like. ??I explained that embarrasment and shame were not the same thing but sometimes they kind of felt like it. ??Again, he had no idea. ??Tanner then says “YES YOU DO know what it feels like to be embarrassed!” ??Then Tanner goes on to list situations in which he was quite convinced Ty would have felt embarrased. ??I laughed because Tanner was speaking (clearly) from his own perspective. ??Again, Ty claimed to not understand and told Tanner that he did NOT feel what Tanner was describing during the incidents that Tanner laid out. ??That was impossible for Tanner to believe. ??It was entirely probable to me because in that moment it occured to me that when you struggle with “others awareness” what they perceive of a situation is simply not on your radar. ??As a result, you don’t tend to experience embarassement. ??On some levels, I can relate to Ty. ??In fact, as I have read John’s book I have realized how much I really do identify with some of what Ty experiences. ??I am not always “others aware” either. ??For example, I am often teased within my family for only dressing to the knees. ??I like comfortable shoes. ??I don’t assume you study me head to foot when you see me. ??Chances are, I will never see your shoes so it doesn’t occur to me that you will notice. ??Life has taught me however, that you WILL notice and so SOMETIMES I do take this into account when I am getting ready. ??To be honest, I resent it sometimes. ??I resent that I am performing for the expectations of others and each time I count the cost. ?? It’s really a no win (and I won’t belabor the point by making both sides of my internal struggle over this). ??But as I read what John had to say, it helped me to really understand the perspective of an Aspie trying to be accepted by society when they are having to consciously make choices that are totally unimportant to them for the sake of being socially accepted by others. ??I guess everyone does that to a degree and to a degree it’s necessary. ??It’s tougher though when you have to learn it (in the case of Aspie’s epecially) by social unacceptance. ??Thankfully, Ty isn’t there yet because his circle has protected him from much of what he will ultimately experience. ??I hope I prepare him well for it – for his own sake. ??I am having to learn a lot myself in this discussion because I really want to tell my kiddo “BIG FREAKING deal if your shoes are on the wrong foot”. ??On the other hand, if he gets teased over it and it hurts him, well…than I will be grieved that I didn’t help him learn to protect himself better by not giving people the opportunity. ?? I’ll tell you what I really wish. ??That I could let Ty alone and educate everyone else on how to love and accept people as they are without making really silly judgement about inconsequential things. ?? Rant over.

 

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Ty: ??Mommy my Xbox was not working but then I turned it off and on over and over and it came back on. ??I told God “Thank You” because he fixed it I am guessing. ??I am so happy.

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Recently I had a talk with Ty’s birthgrandmother and she (along with Ty’s pediatrician) mentioned that Ty may come into puberty earlier than other kids his age. ??Hearing this, I thought I needed to have a quick talk with him.

Me: ??Hey Ty. ??Can you come here? ??I want to have a private talk with you real quick.

I briefly explain some basic facts about puberty.

Ty: ??Does Dad have hair there???!!!!

Me: ??Yes. ??Everyone does. ??It’s part of growing up.

Ty: ??Was this a private talk?

Me: ??Uh…ya.

Ty: ??Okay. ??So pretty soon I am going to get hair under my arms. ??Wooohooo! ??Am I done with the private talk?

Me: ??Ya. ??:)

Ty: ??Bye!

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While on a preemie forum, I read some chatter about hyperlexia. ??Intrigued, I did a little research. ??Hyperlexia is when kids learn to read as toddlers without any level of instruction. ??They are almost always autistic. ??There are a few symptoms along with it that Ty does not have (usually they can read well but don’t understand what they read – that was not true of Ty – he did understand). ??It is also considered to be a splinter savant skill. ??I always kind of figured that.

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For Christmas, Ty wants a stereo so that he can listen to opera, easy listening, hotel, elevator, and marching band music. ?? LOL.

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Took the kids on a 3 mile walk (round trip) to Circle K recently and had such a nice time chatting with them. ??Ty begged and begged to go. ??I had, earlier, denied him because Ty tends to complain about tummy pain every time we go walking. ??He promised me no complaints so I took him. ??Half way there he says “Hey mom! ??How much longer is this…(pause…he remembers his promise)…really nice and beautiful walk?” ?? LOL. ?? We passed the local high school during the end of the football game and he was THRILLED to get to hear the marching band. ??I giggled again when he yelled out “Thank you my good man!” to a guy who let us cross the street in front of him. ?? He is such an adorable kid. ??We also got on the topic of fear and anxiety (something Aspie’s are notorious for by the way) and that turned into a discussion about trusting God. ??Ty then raises his hands to the heavens and just starts praising God as we walked down the block. ??It was really precious.

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It has been pretty hot at archery so in preparation recently I asked Jim if I could bring a canopy. ??The conversation went like this:

D:?? Jim do you think I could put the canopy up by myself?

J:?? No

D:?? You don’t think I could?

J:?? No you don’t have the skills.

D:?? Have I just been insulted?

J:?? You have just been given a reality check.

Maybe Jim should have to cover soccer AND archery! ??Sheeesh.

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We went camping in August and had such a fun time with our family and friends (though I was eaten alive by mosquitoes – came back with 20 bites on my swollen left hand alone!). ??No time to process these now but here is one. ??By the way, we “camped” in the loosest sense of the word this year. ??We actually got a cabin down the road for sleeping. ??:)

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TORI

This first quote is her Dad’s favorite.

Tori: ??Mom why do you have that look on your face?

Me: ??I don’t know. ??I guess I was just thinking.

Tori: ??Must have been about something stupid.

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Tori: ??Mom your hair feels soft.

Me: ??That is because Debbie used a new dye on it.

Tori: ??Well what if ALL your hair turns gray?

Me: ??Well what do you think happened to Sweetie’s hair?

Tori: ??Well I was guessing that she dyed it that color.

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Comment on Troy while having a high fever this week:

Tori: ??Doesn’t his back feel spicy?

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While dancing in my chair listening to music and singing with Tori.

Tori: ??Wow! ??You DO dance bad.

Tori and I love to sing together and she carries a tune quite decently. ??I never claimed to be able to dance.

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She was playing with my hair one evening and I had one agenda for it and she had another. ??I asked her if she could do it a certain way and she said, “Well I don’t want to do that but you know what I CAN do?” ?? LOL. ?? Mini me.

 

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Last week 3 of 4 kids had their semi annual teeth cleaning appointment. ??About 15 minutes before we had to leave, I sent them all to brush their teeth. ??Ty was worried about a substance stuck in his teeth and came to talk to me about it. ??In horror, I asked what on earth had been in his mouth. ?? Turns out, Tori talked him into eating a brown crayon convincing him it tasted like chocolate. ??Both kids had crayon filled teeth. ??Right. Before. The. Appointment. ??Awesome. ??That was fun to explain to the hygentist.

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TROY

Troy is talking more and more all the time. ??Unfortunately, we still can’t understand 75% of what he is saying. ??His speech is really garbled and unless you have a frame of reference for what he is saying, chances are you will not pick it up. ?? This morning he was pretty clear when he wandered into Ty’s room yelling “TY!!!! ??Geeeeeeeeettttt UUUUUUUUPPPPP!!!!”

At two, he is a bit of a menace. ??I may need to ban him from watching Curious George because I am concerned that he is negatively influenced. ??After a recent kitchen episode, Tanner found Troy mixing my spices in the kitchen. ??He emptied an entire jar of ginger into his sippy and an entire jar of allspice into the cherry jelly. ??He had the cumin out and the maple syrup in hand when Tanner caught him.

This week while trying to do school with Tori, he stood on the coffee table and threw balls at us trying to land on our open book and giggling away. ??So helpful.

We watched Lucy last week and while Troy was a fan of Lucy herself, he did not think much of sharing. ??He threw temper tantrums when she went to nap in (what he thought was his) ??playpen. ??Lost it when I dared to put her in HIS seat to feed her lunch. ??Laid on the floor wailing when I changed her diaper on HIS changing table. ??By the next morning, Tanner hugged me in the kitchen and Troy looked at him and very clearly said “Move Away!” ?? LOL.

He doesn’t like bad news either. ??He tends to cover his ears when anyone tells him something that doesn’t make him happy.

Oh but he is cute. ??He is still my loving cuddler and I am enjoying his little two year old self very much. ??He really needs a haircut badly though. ??If Daddy doesn’t cut it soon I think he should dress up like Rod Stewart for Halloween. ??Maybe throw in a white tank top, skinny jeans, high top converse…pretty awesome huh?

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